Craving Change? Learn To Let Go of Self-Destructive Behaviors and Replace Them With Healthy Habits

Thrive • November 11, 2021
By Thrive Waco Therapist Katherine Moore, MA, LPC-Associate

WHAT ARE SELF-DESTRUCTIVE BEHAVIORS?

While harmful to your well-being, self-destructive behaviors often develop as means of coping with your stress triggers and struggles. It can be helpful to acknowledge this and extend kindness to yourself as you seek to replace damaging behaviors with non-harming habits that will foster your physical, mental, and emotional health. Just as a tree sheds its leaves to prepare for new growth, you too can let go of what no longer serves you to create space for personal progress.

Some common self-destructive behaviors are:

  • Engaging in negative self-talk, such as self-criticism and comparison to others
  • Withdrawing and social isolation 
  • Disregarding self-care 
  • Neglecting or avoiding responsibilities
  • Refraining from establishing healthy boundaries
  • Turning to substances such as alcohol as a means to escape

These behaviors can provoke symptoms of anxiety and depression, including:

  • Hopelessness
  • Low self-worth
  • Irritability
  • Low energy
  • Fatigue
  • Difficulty concentrating 
  • Indecisiveness
  • Challenges within relationships

HOW TO ADDRESS SELF-DESTRUCTIVE BEHAVIORS 

Often, self-destructive behaviors may actually be motivated by an urge to protect yourself. When addressing harmful behavior, honor the purposes of the behavior in your life, while also mindfully considering different habits that could promote your well-being more holistically. 

You can consider the function of unhealthy behaviors in your life by asking yourself:

  • How does this behavior serve me? 
  • Is there a feeling that I am attempting to change or avoid by engaging in this behavior? 
  • What needs of mine would or would not be met if this behavior was not in place? 
  • What am I afraid would happen if I gave this behavior up?

HOW TO INCORPORATE NEW HEALTHY HABITS

By reflecting on your responses to the questions above, you can identify the core need that your unhealthy behavior is attempting to fulfill. From there, explore alternative habits that directly address the need while also aligning with your values. 

Some healthy habits that can replace self-destructive behaviors include:

  • Practicing self-compassion. Body-positive affirmations can be a great way to begin.
  • Spending time within your community or wherever you feel a sense of belonging 
  • Participating in intentional self-care.
  • Practicing mindfulness and self-awareness. Mindful movement can offer an ideal opportunity to connect with yourself. 
  • Establishing healthy boundaries.

You may have to experiment several times before you find the most effective replacement habit. Approach this self-betterment practice with an attitude of curiosity and non-judgment towards yourself and draw confidence from your courage to grow as a person. 

THERAPEUTIC SUPPORT FOR SELF-DESTRUCTIVE BEHAVIORS

Therapy can provide an unbiased perspective on behaviors that may be compromising your physical, mental, and emotional health, while also offering professional guidance on replacing them with non-harming habits. At Thrive you’ll find compassionate clinicians ready to help you along your personal development journey. Reach out to us to learn more. 

About the Author
Thrive Waco Therapist Katherine Moore, MA, LPC-Associate

Katherine’s areas of clinical focus include mood disorders (such as depression and anxiety), adjustment, identity, self-esteem, life transitions, relationships, as well as grief and loss. She’s passionate about facilitating growth, providing empathy, and forming genuine connections with clients. Katherine believes that we all have stories that shape us and make us who we are, and she feels honored to create a safe space where an individual’s story can be shared. She hopes that all clients feel seen and heard during sessions with her and that through the process of therapy they discover new insights, awareness, authenticity, and self-agency.

Katherine earned her Master of Arts degree in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from the University of Mary Hardin-Baylor. She earned her Bachelor of Arts in English at the University of Mary Hardin-Baylor as well.

Quality time is one of Katherine’s top love languages, and when not at Thrive she can be found sharing that time with those she cares for, browsing bookstores, watching the same shows repeatedly on Netflix, exploring the outdoors, and traveling.

Supervised by Erin McGinty Fort, LPC-Supervisor (76628) | Texas State Board of Examiners of Professional Counselors

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When Emma was 8, her parents noticed her food choices shrinking. At first, they assumed it was just picky eating — “She’ll outgrow it,” friends said. But by 10, Emma would only eat crackers, cheese, and chicken nuggets. Family dinners became nightly struggles, her growth slowed, and she skipped birthday parties to avoid “strange food.” Her parents felt powerless, her brother grew frustrated, and outings dwindled. What began as food avoidance soon reshaped the rhythm of the entire household. When children avoid food, most parents expect it’s a passing stage. But when restriction deepens, shrinks to only a few “safe foods,” and begins affecting growth or health, families suddenly find themselves in unfamiliar territory. This is often where Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder (ARFID) emerges — with effects that extend far beyond the plate. As providers, we need to be attuned to these patterns. It’s tempting to dismiss them as “no big deal,” yet for many families, they are life-altering. Sadly, Emma’s story is not unusual. Mealtimes as Battlegrounds Families living with ARFID often describe mealtimes as emotionally charged, exhausting, and unpredictable. What should be a chance to connect around the table can feel more like a negotiation or even a standoff. Parents wrestle with whether to push their child to try a new food or give in to the same “safe foods” again and again to avoid tears, gagging, or complete meltdowns. This ongoing tension can make mealtimes dreaded rather than cherished. Siblings, too, are affected. Some may feel resentful when family meals are limited to what only one child will tolerate. Others may act out in response to the constant attention the child with ARFID receives. Over time, the dinner table shifts from a place of nourishment and bonding into a stage for conflict, anxiety, and guilt — a pattern that can erode family cohesion and resilience. Social Isolation and Missed Experiences ARFID impacts more than what happens at home; it influences how families engage with the world around them. Everyday events — birthday parties, school lunches, vacations, even extended family dinners — become sources of stress. Parents may pack special foods to avoid confrontation or, in many cases, decline invitations altogether to protect their child from embarrassment or overwhelm. This avoidance can lead to an unintended consequence: isolation. Families miss out on milestones, friendships, and traditions because of the unpredictability surrounding food. The child may feel left out or ashamed, while parents grieve the loss of “normal” family experiences. This social withdrawal can compound the anxiety already present in ARFID and deepen its impact across generations. Emotional Toll on Parents The emotional strain on parents navigating ARFID is significant. Many describe living in a constant state of worry — Will my child get enough nutrients? Will they ever grow out of this? Am I doing something wrong? This worry often spirals into guilt and self-blame, particularly when outside voices dismiss the disorder as mere “picky eating.” In addition, the pressure to “fix” mealtimes can strain marital relationships, creating disagreements over discipline, feeding strategies, or medical decisions. Parents may also feel emotionally depleted, pouring all their energy into managing one child’s needs while inadvertently neglecting themselves or their other children. Without support, this chronic stress can lead to burnout, depression, and disconnection within the family system. The Role of Providers For clinicians, ARFID must be viewed not only as an individual diagnosis but as a family-wide challenge. Effective care requires attention to both the clinical symptoms and the family dynamics that shape recovery. 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By addressing both the psychological and relational dimensions, providers can help transform mealtimes from a source of conflict into an opportunity for healing and connection. For those who want to go deeper, we invite you to join our upcoming training on ARFID , where we will explore practical strategies for supporting both clients and their families.
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