Grieving During the Holiday Season: Ways to Honor Your Loss and Support Loved Ones in Mourning

Thrive • December 9, 2021

By Thrive Waco Therapist Sarah Neelley, MA, LPC-Associate, 200 RYT and Thrive Reno Perinatal Program Clinical Lead and Therapist Amanda Boe, LMFT

UNDERSTANDING LOSS AND GRIEF

As a natural human response to loss, grief provides ways (although uncomfortable at times) for individuals to continue loving a person they have lost. Most commonly associated with anguish following the death of a loved one, grief can also be a response to any significant loss, including the loss of a pregnancy or infant , pet, job or income, relationship, and even community. The grieving process typically prompts affected individuals to explore coping strategies as well as attempt to discover meaning in their loss.

Perinatal Loss and Grief

As a mental and behavioral health clinic that treats perinatal mood and anxiety disorders (PMADs), Thrive Wellness is especially attuned to the struggles that parents face following a perinatal loss, which can include pregnancy and infant losses. A perinatal loss can feel more isolating than other losses in many ways. Parents may feel like they are the only ones who knew their baby and possibly even the only ones who are grieving their baby’s loss. A perinatal grief and loss support group such as the one Thrive Reno offers can help lessen some of this isolation by surrounding parents with understanding individuals who will support their grieving journey.

DIFFERENT EXPRESSIONS OF GRIEF

Just as every person is unique, the ways in which people grieve are also different. Some individuals express their grief outwardly by crying or talking about their loss, while others may grieve internally by withdrawing or holding their emotions inside.

Grief can affect people in many ways, including:

Emotionally: Individuals may experience a wide range of emotions including despair, sadness, anger, guilt, confusion, and shock.
Physically: Grief may disrupt an individual’s digestive system, sleep patterns, and immune function to name a few physical effects.
Cognitively: As their mind attempts to understand the loss, a grieving person may find it difficult to concentrate, make decisions, and remember things.
Socially: Grief may cause individuals to withdraw from their relationships. Additionally, the stress of a loss may also cause conflict to erupt within relationships.
Culturally : An individual’s culture provides them with the framework for how to grieve, which may not align with a person’s preferred way of grieving and create conflict or tension on top of their suffering.
Spiritually: Individuals affected by grief may question their spiritual beliefs. In turn, they may also strengthen their faith.
Philosophically: Grief may cause a person to question their sense of meaning and identity.

Although no one grieves the same way, there are five common stages of grief theorized by psychiatrist Elizabeth Kubler Ross and recognized by the greater mental health community.

The five stages of grief are:

Denial: Characterized by feelings of numbness, shock, and confusion. The denial stage can serve as a defense mechanism that slows the onset of intense emotions often associated with grief.
Anger: May involve thoughts that life isn’t fair and can include blaming others for the loss. Anger can be necessary to reattach grief-stricken individuals to the reality of their loss.
Bargaining: Distinguished by desperate negotiation, typically to a higher power, with the hope of avoiding the pain of loss such as, “If you let him live, I will be a better person.” This stage is also characterized by endless “What if?” questions generally fueled by a person’s guilt and desire to go back in time to stop the loss from happening.
Depression: Arguably the most recognizable element of grief, this stage often involves feeling hopeless and withdrawing from life.
Acceptance: Identified as learning to embrace life despite grief.

The stages listed above may seem straightforward, but the way each individual experiences them is unique and may be erratic. There is no set amount of time that an individual spends in any stage of grief. Additionally, individuals don’t necessarily progress through the five stages of grief in order. They may jump between stages, skip ahead to stages, revert to previously experienced stages, and so forth. Individuals can also experience more than one stage of grief at a time.

THE INFLUENCE OF THE HOLIDAY SEASON ON LOSS AND GRIEF

Amid holiday festivities filled with others who are celebrating, grieving individuals may feel obligated to participate, but unable to “get in the holiday spirit” and feel joyful in their current state. To those who are mourning, holiday events and family gatherings can emphasize the absence of lost loved ones. Certain elements of holiday traditions such as sharing stories, preparing recipes, and eating around family tables may serve as painful reminders of lost loved ones.

Additionally, the holiday season’s iconic sights, smells, tastes, and sounds may invoke a deep sense of nostalgia to sensory-rich experiences and memories. When individuals are grieving a loss, connecting to such meaningful moments can cause them to feel raw, vulnerable, and overwhelmed by their pain. These occasions may also serve as opportunities to lean into holiday-season connectedness, which can be both a difficult and beautiful experience filled with mixed emotions.

HOW TO COPE WITH GRIEF THIS HOLIDAY SEASON

There are coping strategies that can help make the holidays more bearable for grieving individuals. Below are some suggestions for individuals experiencing grief this holiday season.

Address your physical needs. Physical and mental health are intertwined. Make sure you’re nourishing your body adequately and consistently with food and water. Also consider incorporating mindful movement into your day, such as by walking outside or practicing yoga.
Get plenty of rest. When you’re lacking sleep , your emotion regulation can be hampered. Allow your body the rest it needs to heal from the distress of your loss so you can process your emotions in healthy ways.
Talk about your grief with those you trust. Sharing stories about lost loved ones can help you honor their memory. Additionally, by addressing your grief in conversation, it can be transformed from something you might perceive as shameful or scary into a tool that helps you heal.
Try journaling or writing a letter about your grief. Writing about your experience can provide a cathartic way to reflect upon your grief, process your emotions, and even gain a new outlook.
Attend therapy. A therapist will compassionately guide your grieving process while offering an unbiased perspective about your loss as well as clinical insight.
Begin new traditions that pay tribute to lost loved ones. You might consider lighting a candle, planting a seedling, telling stories about your loved one, playing their favorite music, or eating their favorite meal to honor and cherish their memory.

HOW TO SUPPORT GRIEVING LOVED ONES

Family and friends can foster healing for their grieving loved ones. Because everyone grieves differently, it’s important to be mindful of how your loved one is mourning while also respecting their grieving process. When others help carry grief, the load can feel less heavy. Try these tips to show your support:

Check in with your loved one by asking them how they are and what support they might need.
Offer to spend time with your loved one, especially if they may be feeling lonely and lost.
Offer to bring your loved one a meal or take on a chore to lighten their load.
Invite your loved one to your gatherings, especially if they don’t have other plans. If they choose to attend, check in on them from time to time to see how they are doing.
Actively listen to your loved one, which shows them you love and care about them. Let them know you hear them and refrain from offering advice without being asked.

LOSS AND GRIEF COUNSELING

Grief counseling offers individuals an opportunity to openly share their experiences while also discovering a sense of meaning amid their loss. Therapists remain present with their clients in their grief, no matter what their grieving process looks like. During sessions, a person can talk about the impact that their loss has had on their life and share their personal background without having to worry about judgment or unsolicited advice. Through therapy, clients can process their loss in a more in-depth way with compassionate guidance.

If you’re considering grief counseling, you can reach out to Thrive Wellness to learn more about our therapeutic services.

About the Authors

Thrive Waco Therapist Sarah Neelley, MA, LPC-Associate, 200 RYT

Sarah is passionate about providing holistic care to survivors of interpersonal trauma, as well as individuals struggling with eating and body image concerns.

A registered yoga instructor, she enjoys integrating her counselor education and yoga training to holistically approach mental health treatment. She is skilled at facilitating trauma-informed yoga therapeutic groups for survivors of interpersonal trauma.

As a counseling intern at Baylor University’s Counseling Center, Sarah has provided mental health support to clients facing crisis situations, trauma, anxiety, depression, OCD, substance use, and anger concerns.

Sarah holds a Master of Arts degree in clinical mental health counseling from the University of Mary Hardin-Baylor. She also holds a Bachelor of Arts degree in psychology from Baylor University.

In her free time, Sarah loves reading, spending time with friends and family, taking long walks outdoors, enjoying a good cup of coffee, and doing puzzles. She recently developed an interest in keeping plants alive. Wish her (and her plants) all the luck!

Supervised by Erin McGinty Fort, LPC-Supervisor (76628) | Texas State Board of Examiners of Professional Counselors

Thrive Reno PMAD Program Clinical Lead and Therapist Amanda Boe, LMFT

Amanda Boe earned her master’s degree in counseling from the University of Nevada, Reno. She has over nine years of experience working with children, individuals, and families who have experienced trauma. Her experience also includes working with clients who struggle with perinatal mood disorders, anxiety, and depression. Amanda is passionate about healing relationships among families and unresolved trauma using evidence-based practices. She is certified in Child-Parent Psychotherapy (CPP). Amanda offers individual, couples, and family therapy.

The post Grieving During the Holiday Season: Ways to Honor Your Loss and Support Loved Ones in Mourning first appeared on Thrive Wellness.

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The Power of Community: 5 Benefits of Support Groups

January 16, 2025

Support groups serve as a critical resource for those seeking a sense of community while navigating life's challenges. The benefits of support groups extend beyond the mere sharing of experiences; these groups provide valuable emotional support, foster a sense of community, and enhance mental wellbeing. In this blog post, we will explore what support groups are, how to find the right one for you, the various benefits they offer, and specific options available here at Thrive Wellness. What is a Support Group and How Can It Help Me? A support group is an organized gathering of people who share similar experiences or challenges, providing a space to find mutual support and understanding. These groups are safe and confidential spaces where participants can express their feelings, share personal stories, and receive emotional support from others who understand their unique struggles. Support groups are also powerful tools for reducing the feelings of isolation that can come with a challenging or traumatizing experience or being diagnosed with a mental health disorder. When you come together in the clinical setting, you can share experiences and gain unique insights from others. This sense of belonging often leads to improved mental wellbeing, as participants feel less alone in their struggles. Through the shared wisdom of the group and a therapist, members can learn important skills like coping strategies, gain encouragement, and develop a stronger sense of community and support. The collective strength that can come from these shared experiences contributes to personal growth, allowing attendees to thrive in their everyday lives. How Do I Find a Support Group That is Right for Me? Finding the right support group for you is essential to getting the most out of your experience. You can begin by researching local groups that align with your specific support needs and interests. Consider the focus of a group and whether it fits with the challenges you face. Healthcare professionals, therapists, or counselors can provide tailored recommendations and guide you to potential options. It's also important to consider logistical factors such as location, meeting frequency, and whether the group meets in-person or virtually. At Thrive, our admissions process for groups involves a 30 minute meeting with a group leader prior to joining to ensure that you are a suitable fit. What Are the Benefits of Support Groups? Support groups provide a multitude of benefits to help improve your emotional, mental, and social wellness. 1. Safe space for expressing emotions Support groups offer a safe environment where you can express your feelings and share experiences with others facing similar challenges with the assurance of confidentiality. This sense of emotional support is crucial if you are working though complex emotions, hardships, or trauma. 2. Sense of belonging and community Support groups help you to build a stronger sense of community. Through joining, participants can experience reduced feelings of isolation, knowing they are not alone in their struggles. 3. Exchange of advice and strategies Groups are great avenues for sharing knowledge, allowing members to exchange practical advice and coping strategies specific to their shared situations. In addition, therapists guide growth and provide practical strategies to help deal with challenges as they lead support groups. 4. Enhanced coping mechanisms Regular participation in groups can significantly improve your coping skills, enhancing your ability to manage anxieties and challenges associated with your experience or condition. Therapists are trained in teaching their groups effective coping skills specific to their needs. 5. Motivation for personal goals Groups provide a network of support, encouragement and motivation where attendees can cheer each other on in achieving their shared goals. Other group members can hold you accountable in pursuing your personal goals and staying on track with your treatment plan. What Support Groups Does Thrive Wellness Offer? Thrive Wellness offers a variety of support groups tailored to people's unique needs, ensuring comprehensive emotional and mental health support. Each support group is facilitated by experienced professionals offering guidance over the course of a group session. Groups being offered now at Thrive include a Perinatal Mental Health Support Group , a Social Anxiety Skills Group , a Body Image Skills Group , and a Teen Body Image Skills Group . Our admission process for groups is as follows: An individual therapist will submit a referral, then our client experience team will reach out to you to schedule a 30 minute group intake meeting with the group leader to ensure that you are an appropriate fit for the group. From there, you are admitted and scheduled to the group. All groups cost $50 for cash pay, however copays are collected when insurance is billed. Finding Strength Through Connection Support groups offer powerful benefits, making them a vital resource for those seeking emotional and mental support. Whether you are exploring what a support group is, searching for the right one for your needs, or looking into our specific offerings here at Thrive Wellness, the impact of these groups is real. By connecting with those who share similar experiences as you, you can find comfort, strength, and a renewed sense of hope, empowering you to face life's challenges with a team of people on your side.

Winter Blues and Seasonal Affective Disorder: Why Winter Days Can Darken Your Mood and Ways to Brighten Your Outlook

January 9, 2025

Even if you look forward to the ski season all year, can't wait to read a good book by a crackling fireplace, and count down the days until you can frolic through fresh snow, you can also experience seasonal affective disorder or the winter blues. Dreary winter days stuck indoors can make it difficult for many to summon their natural cheerfulness, gratitude, and enthusiasm for life. This shift in mood may be confusing, especially if you're typically captivated by wintertime wonders. As the nights lengthen, days shorten, temperatures drop, and storm clouds block the sun, your mood can darken too. Essentially, the changing patterns of sunlight can disrupt your circadian rhythm (a kind of biological clock that influences your sleepiness and wakefulness patterns) and hormonal balance. Two conditions commonly develop during the winter: the winter blues and seasonal affective disorder (SAD), recently designated Major Depressive Disorder (MDD) with a Seasonal Pattern . Below, you can explore the differences between the winter blues and SAD, and find strategies to boost your mood and reclaim your motivation during the winter season. What Are the Winter Blues? Individuals struggling with the winter blues generally experience feelings of sadness, fatigue, and loneliness attributed to bleak winter weather. Although not considered a mental disorder, the winter blues may cause you to feel like a gloomy, less motivated version of yourself, while still being able to participate in and enjoy daily activities. Symptoms of the Winter Blues Feeling sad or down during the winter months Decreased motivation or energy Changes or difficulty with sleeping Causes of the Winter Blues Cold weather Shorter days, longer nights Decrease or change in exposure to sunlight and vitamin D production Risk Factors for the Winter Blues Lack of connection to community and social interactions History of depression or anxiety Environmental considerations (such as living in a climate that experiences particularly long or harsh winters) What is Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)? Also known as seasonal depression, SAD or MDD with a Seasonal Pattern is a subtype of major depressive disorder that interferes with a persons ability to engage in everyday life and find pleasure in activities that typically spark joy. In most cases, a person struggling with SAD will experience depression that begins in the fall or winter and ends in the spring. Less commonly, individuals may experience SAD in the summer, possibly brought on by exposure to too much sunlight that can cause sleeplessness, agitation, and anxiety. Symptoms of Seasonal Affective Disorder Depressed mood or sadness Decreased motivation or energy Hypersomnia (or excessive sleepiness and oversleeping) Eating beyond fullness Weight gain Loss of interest in hobbies or activities that usually evoke happiness Social isolation and withdrawal Increased feelings of agitation or irritability Difficulty concentrating Sense of hopelessness Suicidal thoughts Causes of Seasonal Affective Disorder Decrease or change in exposure to sunlight and vitamin D production, resulting in: Changes in circadian rhythm (disruption to your body's internal clock) Hormonal fluctuation, including imbalances of serotonin and melatonin Risk Factors for Seasonal Affective Disorder History of depression or anxiety Genetic factors Environmental considerations (such as living in a climate that experiences particularly long or harsh winters, resulting in decreased social interactions and activity) Ways to Boost Your Mood During Wintertime You can fight the winter blues and wrap yourself in warmth by incorporating some of the self-care strategies below into your wintertime routine. Eat intuitively. The way you nourish your body is directly connected to your mental health , but shorter days may disrupt breakfast, lunch, dinner, and snack time routines. By listening to your fullness and hunger cues, while also eating an array of foods consistently and adequately, you can promote your well-being including your emotional health. Move mindfully. Allowing yourself the time and space to move intentionally can do wonders for your mind-body-spirit connection. Research shows that mindful movement can help lower stress and anxiety in addition to relieving depression and improving overall mood. Commit to a consistent sleep and wake routine. By going to bed and waking up at the same times every day, you can practice good sleep hygiene , which can help you regulate your emotions effectively and promote overall well-being. Spend time outdoors in the sun. Sunlight promotes the body's vitamin D production and vitamin D is believed to affect the regulation of the feel-good hormone serotonin. By doing your best to soak up the sunshine when it graces the sky, you can help foster feelings of happiness. Maintain connections with family and friends. Loved ones can infuse dismal winter days and long winter nights with laughter, companionship, and a sense of belonging. Participate in service projects and other community activities . Offering your time to individuals in need and enveloping yourself in your community can bring you a sense of purpose, meaning, and connection. Your presence can light up the lives of others, making you feel good in turn. For more habits that create a well-balanced lifestyle and improve your mental and physical health, download our free guide "How to Thrive." Clinical Treatment for the Winter Blues and SAD If your sadness, lethargy, or other depressive symptoms begin to impair your daily functioning or extend beyond the season, we encourage you to speak with a healthcare provider. Licensed professionals can guide you in developing coping skills, reducing your depressive symptoms, and increasing your resiliency and motivation. In some cases, you may be prescribed light therapy or antidepressants to ease symptoms. You deserve to feel wonderful any time of year, and through outpatient therapy , Thrive can help you embrace the winter season with joy. Reach out to us to learn more. This blog post was originally posted December 22, 2021

Instead of Setting New Year's Resolutions, do this

January 2, 2025

Ah, New Year’s resolutions. The moment January 1 rolls around, it feels like everyone is armed with a laundry list of goals: lose weight, save money, drink more water, learn to play a new instrument. While these aspirations might look great on paper, the truth is they often come with a side of unnecessary pressure—and let’s be real, most of us abandon them by February anyway. This year, let’s flip the script. Instead of piling on more goals, how about taking a breath and reflecting on everything you’ve already accomplished? Trust me, there’s a better way to approach the new year without the stress of rigid resolutions. Why Resolutions Often Fall Flat The tradition of setting resolutions can feel exciting, but it’s easy to fall into the trap of overdoing it. We create lists of lofty goals, expecting ourselves to magically transform overnight. But what happens when life gets messy, work gets busy, or we simply don’t have the energy to crush it every day? The result is usually guilt, frustration, and a sense of failure—not exactly the motivational vibe we were aiming for. The problem with traditional resolutions is that they often overlook the importance of realistic planning and self-reflection. Instead of motivating us, they can pile onto the stress we’re already carrying. Give Yourself Permission to Pause Let’s start 2025 differently. Instead of asking yourself what you need to do, take a moment to consider what you’ve already done. Acknowledge the challenges you’ve navigated and the wins—big or small—that brought you here. This shift isn’t about giving up on growth or change; it’s about embracing a more compassionate, flexible approach to your well-being. Reflect on Your Wins From 2024 Before you set any intentions for 2025, pause and reflect on the year that’s just passed. Here are some questions to guide your thoughts: • What were my biggest wins from 2024? Celebrate the moments that made you proud. Maybe it was a professional milestone or simply surviving a tough season. Wins don’t have to be monumental to be meaningful. • What relationships were most meaningful to me? Think about the people who supported you, made you laugh, or helped you grow. How can you nurture those connections in the year ahead? • What surprised me most about 2024? Life has a way of throwing curveballs. Reflecting on how you adapted can help you appreciate your resilience and prepare for the unexpected. • What should I say “no” to? What would I like to say “yes” to? Sometimes, the key to growth is learning what no longer serves you. Saying “no” to draining commitments makes space for the things that truly light you up. • What am I most proud of and grateful for? Gratitude is a powerful tool for shifting perspective. Take time to appreciate the moments, people, and experiences that enriched your life. Start 2025 With Intention The beauty of reflection is that it allows us to set intentions that feel authentic and achievable. Instead of chasing resolutions rooted in perfection, focus on growth, gratitude, and balance. This year, let’s give ourselves permission to start small and prioritize what truly matters. Take a Self-Care Step With Our “Breathe Easy” Guide If you’re looking for a gentle way to begin 2025, our free Breathe Easy guide is the perfect place to start. It’s packed with simple breathing exercises designed to help you reduce stress, refocus your mind, and find a sense of calm—no matter how chaotic life feels. Download it today and give yourself the gift of a fresh start, one deep breath at a time. Let’s make 2025 the year we breathe easier, live more intentionally, and celebrate the progress we’ve already made. You’ve got this!