Healing From The Inside Out: Kathleen’s Perinatal Mental Health Story 

Thrive • March 21, 2022

As an unexpecting new mother who would face a challenging pregnancy and become a single parent, Kathleen sought help from Thrive Reno’s It Takes A Village perinatal program. In honor of National Single Parent Day, she shares her perinatal mental health story and reminds us that it truly does take a village to heal. 

Can you share an overview of your perinatal journey? 

My perinatal story, in short, was a surprise like many pregnancies. One fleeting night turned into a lifetime of motherhood, which in turn changed my life in the most amazing way. My pregnancy, however, was quite stressful. I dealt with a great deal of verbal abuse from a former partner and had to lean on my family for emotional support throughout the pregnancy. 

At 39 weeks and one day into my pregnancy, I hadn’t felt my daughter move all day. At the doctor, I found out that my daughter’s oxygen levels were very low. My medical provider said that she needed to be delivered right away, as the placenta was not supporting her in the way it should. I was induced into labor that night. I believe my labor lasted around 16 hours.

A few hours after being admitted into labor and delivery, nurses entered my room dressed in full COVID-19 personal protective equipment. They informed me that I had tested positive for the illness. Guilt overwhelmed me as I thought of all my loved ones that had been exposed. But I pushed the fear away believing that if I took all the necessary precautions, my daughter would be safe, healthy, and in my arms. When my water broke that afternoon, I went from five centimeters dilated to holding her within an hour.

How did your perinatal experience affect your mental and emotional health?

I felt so much anxiety about having my first child. I feared failing as a parent. Additionally, difficult experiences from my childhood came to the surface. Although I wish I could have healed my inner child before having my own, because of the birth of my daughter, I sought healing so that I could be a better mother for her. 

What led you to seek therapeutic support for your struggles? What did this decision process entail? 

I wanted to be better than the parents in my past had been, but that also meant that I had a lot to live up to. After my pregnancy, my obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) symptoms heightened, but at the time, I didn’t know that OCD was at the root of my struggle. I kept thinking, “Something is going on with me, and I want and need to feel better and be whole again.” I had to be for my daughter, so I sought therapeutic support.

What did this support look like? Can you overview your experience?

I was blessed to get help and support from Thrive Reno’s It Takes A Village perinatal program where I received in-depth, multi-faceted care that expanded beyond mental health to include nutritional and physical health guidance. The program worked to heal me from the inside out. Additionally, having many other mothers attending the program alongside me and supporting me throughout my journey was the best thing I could’ve asked for.

Can you detail any strategies, motivations, daily practices, etc. that helped or are helping you heal? 

My favorite strategies that I learned involved mindfulness practices and meditations. I do them every night now. They keep me balanced.

How has the state of your mental and emotional health changed since coming to Thrive?

I’m coping with the symptoms of OCD much more effectively and I feel so much better. After the It Takes A Village perinatal program, I felt like a whole new mom, improving emotionally in a matter of weeks. Never did I believe that my healing would happen so quickly, but it was the perfect timing and allowed me to confidently face parenthood by myself. Although I struggle every day, I have a newfound strength.

Do you have any advice for individuals who may be facing perinatal circumstances that are similar to your own?

I just want moms out there to remember that a happy mama makes for a happy baby. Your children feel what you feel, so keep yourself happy and seek help for your peace of mind. I know firsthand that being a single mom is hard. Whether it was planned or not, parenthood is a journey that can make putting food on the table a struggle, conflict with life outside of being a parent, and make finances tight. But, single mothers stick together because parenting really does take a village. Happy National Single Parent Day! 

A Note From Thrive

Thrive Reno’s It Takes A Village perinatal program and additional perinatal outpatient services cater to parents struggling with their physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral health throughout pregnancy and postpartum. The program provides integrated perinatal health care involving primary care, psychiatry, therapy, and nutritional support as well as a vibrant healing community. Through compassionate care, parents can learn effective coping skills, find healing, and confidently embrace parenthood. Reach out to us to learn more.

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When Emma was 8, her parents noticed her food choices shrinking. At first, they assumed it was just picky eating — “She’ll outgrow it,” friends said. But by 10, Emma would only eat crackers, cheese, and chicken nuggets. Family dinners became nightly struggles, her growth slowed, and she skipped birthday parties to avoid “strange food.” Her parents felt powerless, her brother grew frustrated, and outings dwindled. What began as food avoidance soon reshaped the rhythm of the entire household. When children avoid food, most parents expect it’s a passing stage. But when restriction deepens, shrinks to only a few “safe foods,” and begins affecting growth or health, families suddenly find themselves in unfamiliar territory. This is often where Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder (ARFID) emerges — with effects that extend far beyond the plate. As providers, we need to be attuned to these patterns. It’s tempting to dismiss them as “no big deal,” yet for many families, they are life-altering. Sadly, Emma’s story is not unusual. Mealtimes as Battlegrounds Families living with ARFID often describe mealtimes as emotionally charged, exhausting, and unpredictable. What should be a chance to connect around the table can feel more like a negotiation or even a standoff. Parents wrestle with whether to push their child to try a new food or give in to the same “safe foods” again and again to avoid tears, gagging, or complete meltdowns. This ongoing tension can make mealtimes dreaded rather than cherished. Siblings, too, are affected. Some may feel resentful when family meals are limited to what only one child will tolerate. Others may act out in response to the constant attention the child with ARFID receives. Over time, the dinner table shifts from a place of nourishment and bonding into a stage for conflict, anxiety, and guilt — a pattern that can erode family cohesion and resilience. Social Isolation and Missed Experiences ARFID impacts more than what happens at home; it influences how families engage with the world around them. Everyday events — birthday parties, school lunches, vacations, even extended family dinners — become sources of stress. Parents may pack special foods to avoid confrontation or, in many cases, decline invitations altogether to protect their child from embarrassment or overwhelm. This avoidance can lead to an unintended consequence: isolation. Families miss out on milestones, friendships, and traditions because of the unpredictability surrounding food. The child may feel left out or ashamed, while parents grieve the loss of “normal” family experiences. This social withdrawal can compound the anxiety already present in ARFID and deepen its impact across generations. Emotional Toll on Parents The emotional strain on parents navigating ARFID is significant. Many describe living in a constant state of worry — Will my child get enough nutrients? Will they ever grow out of this? Am I doing something wrong? This worry often spirals into guilt and self-blame, particularly when outside voices dismiss the disorder as mere “picky eating.” In addition, the pressure to “fix” mealtimes can strain marital relationships, creating disagreements over discipline, feeding strategies, or medical decisions. Parents may also feel emotionally depleted, pouring all their energy into managing one child’s needs while inadvertently neglecting themselves or their other children. Without support, this chronic stress can lead to burnout, depression, and disconnection within the family system. The Role of Providers For clinicians, ARFID must be viewed not only as an individual diagnosis but as a family-wide challenge. Effective care requires attention to both the clinical symptoms and the family dynamics that shape recovery. Parent Support: Educating caregivers that ARFID is not their fault, offering psychoeducation, and helping them reframe mealtime struggles as part of the disorder — not a parenting failure. Family-Based Interventions: Coaching families in structured meal support, communication strategies, and gradual exposure work so parents don’t feel powerless. Holistic Care: Involving therapists, dietitians, occupational therapists, and medical providers ensures that the family does not shoulder the weight of treatment alone. When families are validated, supported, and given practical tools, the entire household can begin to heal. Treatment is not only about expanding a child’s food repertoire but also about restoring peace, resilience, and connection at home. Moving Forward ARFID may begin with one individual, but its ripple effects are felt across the entire family system. By addressing both the psychological and relational dimensions, providers can help transform mealtimes from a source of conflict into an opportunity for healing and connection. For those who want to go deeper, we invite you to join our upcoming training on ARFID , where we will explore practical strategies for supporting both clients and their families.
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