Integrating Self-Love, Self-Care, Self-Compassion, and Self-Respect For Enduring Self-Esteem

Thrive • Feb 10, 2022

By Thrive Waco Therapist Sarah Neelley, MA, LPC-Associate, 200 RYT

WHAT IS SELF-ESTEEM?

Self-esteem is your general opinion of yourself, including how you feel about your abilities and limitations. When you have a healthy sense of self-esteem, you believe that you’re worthy of respect, your opinions matter, and you’re capable of achieving whatever you set your mind to. Alternatively, an unhealthy sense of self-esteem can lead to feelings of worthlessness, comparing yourself to others, and difficulty maintaining boundaries

THE MULTIFACETED NATURE OF SELF-ESTEEM

Extending love, care, compassion, and respect to yourself is vital for growing and maintaining a healthy sense of self-esteem. By exploring the meaning of self-love, self-care, self-compassion, and self-respect, you can begin to foster an honest and deep appreciation of your amazing self!

What is self-love?

Easily confused with narcissism, which is an unhealthy overemphasis of one’s strengths and ignorance of one’s weaknesses, self-love is something else entirely. Based in self-awareness, self-love means accepting your intrinsic worth as an individual, despite your imperfections. 

Some examples of embracing self-love include:

  • Prioritizing your well-being
  • Recognizing your strengths
  • Accepting your imperfections
  • Acknowledging your feelings
  • Asking for help when you need it
  • Letting go of resentments 
  • Pushing yourself out of your comfort zone
  • Forgiving yourself for any mistakes

Without a foundation of self-love, you may find that you neglect your own needs, make self-sabotaging decisions, and allow others to take advantage of you. When you love yourself, you value your well-being and happiness enough to protect it. 

What is self-care?

Self-care is putting self-love into action. You practice self-care whenever you intentionally engage in activities or behaviors that promote your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being. What constitutes self-care for an individual is based on their tastes, interests, and needs.

Self-care may mean:

  • Playing an instrument
  • Attending a yoga class
  • Taking a shower or bath
  • Practicing photography
  • Spending a day at the beach
  • Going on a bike ride
  • Catching up with friends
  • Visiting places of worship
  • Reading a good book
  • Learning something new
  • Eating adequately, consistently, and intuitively
  • Embracing a wide variety of foods, including those you enjoy most

Self-care should not be perceived as a reward, obligation, or frivolous pursuit. Instead, self-care should be an integral element of your lifestyle that empowers and energizes you.

What is self-compassion?

Self-compassion is the heart of self-love and self-care and invites you to honor your humanness. It means extending to yourself the same understanding and kindness that you offer to others. 

You can practice self-compassion by:

  • Being patient and kind with yourself
  • Affirming your positive attributes
  • Acknowledging your successes of any size
  • Allowing your progress to be nonlinear
  • Accepting what you can control versus what you cannot
  • Allowing yourself to make mistakes and viewing them as learning opportunities
  • Avoiding unfavorable comparisons of yourself to others
  • Refraining from self-criticism and self-judgment

While negative self-talk can foster a sense of self-pity, self-compassion keeps you from holding yourself to impossible expectations, encourages you to mindfully recognize your humanity, and allows you to embrace life with graciousness toward yourself.

What is self-respect?

Another aspect of self-esteem is self-respect or self-regard. Self-respect involves embracing your autonomy while also defining your own values and living in accordance with them.

Self-respecting individuals don’t regard themselves as inferior or superior to others. Instead, self-respect is based on adhering to one’s standards for themselves, which are rooted in an individual’s unique sense of integrity. 

Having self-respect means:

  • Desiring to be treated in accordance with your inherent dignity
  • Protesting degrading treatment of yourself
  • Living by a self-defined sense of morality
  • Feeling a responsibility to make your life into something you believe to be good
  • Seeking to use your talents in pursuit of your goals

Self-respect empowers individuals to have agency over their own lives. With self-respect, you can demand better of and for yourself to create a life you deserve. 

GROW WHERE YOU ARE PLANTED

Appreciating your uniqueness and honoring your worth promotes healthier relationships, decision-making that honors your desires, and confidence in pursuing your goals. Attending therapy can help you identify any patterns impacting your self-esteem and learn strategies to hold yourself in healthy high regard. If you’re curious about your relationship with yourself and others, reach out to Thrive for details about how outpatient therapy can serve as an insightful, self-reflective practice for personal growth. 

About the Author

Thrive Waco Therapist Sarah Neelley, MA, LPC-Associate, 200 RYT

Sarah is passionate about providing holistic care to survivors of interpersonal trauma, as well as individuals struggling with eating and body image concerns.

A registered yoga instructor, she enjoys integrating her counselor education and yoga training to holistically approach mental health treatment. She is skilled at facilitating trauma-informed yoga therapeutic groups for survivors of interpersonal trauma.

As a counseling intern at Baylor University’s Counseling Center, Sarah has provided mental health support to clients facing crisis situations, trauma, anxiety, depression, OCD, substance use, and anger concerns.

Sarah holds a Master of Arts degree in clinical mental health counseling from the University of Mary Hardin-Baylor. She also holds a Bachelor of Arts degree in psychology from Baylor University.

In her free time, Sarah loves reading, spending time with friends and family, taking long walks outdoors, enjoying a good cup of coffee, and doing puzzles. She recently developed an interest in keeping plants alive. Wish her (and her plants) all the luck!

Supervised by Erin McGinty Fort, LPC-Supervisor (76628) | Texas State Board of Examiners of Professional Counselors
By Sage Tippie 23 Apr, 2024
Spring Cleaning Benefits for Mental Health Spring is a time of new beginnings, change, and transitions, including in our homes. With the warmer weather kicking motivation into high gear, Spring can be a prime time to do a deep clean. Not only is a clean space aesthetically pleasing to the eyes, but it can also help to improve your mental health. Learn about how tidying up your space can also tidy up your thoughts below along with tips for cleaning when you’re struggling with your mental health. 4 Reasons Why Cleaning is Beneficial to Mental health 1.Decreased Stress Not only does an uncluttered space provide a sense of calm, but the physical act of cleaning can release feel-good endorphins, reducing feelings of stress and anxiety. As you cross tasks off your checklist, your body also releases Dopamine. Also known as the “happy hormone”, Dopamine provides a sense of accomplishment and pride that can promote motivation in other areas of our lives. 2. Improved Focus Studies have shown that an uncluttered space can also lead to an uncluttered mind. Your focus can be drawn away from important tasks by a chaotic, messy space. Research has also shown a connection between procrastination and clutter, as an unwillingness to tackle larger chores like cleaning can translate over into various areas of our lives. By keeping your space tidy, it can inspire you to stay on top of other major tasks like work and school assignments. 3. Regulated Emotions According to this 2015 study , cleaning can function as a practice in mindfulness, providing an increased sense of calm and inspiration. Slowing down while cleaning gives you room to relax and free your mind of burdens, stressors, and irritants that can affect your mental health. Cleaning can even be considered a practice of self-care as the action helps you to connect with yourself and the outcome allows you to better enjoy your own space. 4. Sense of Order and Control When experiencing mental health struggles, people may feel a lack of control over their lives and emotions. Cleaning even small areas of the home can provide an increased sense of order and control as you cross tasks off your to-do list. Through realizing your own power by simply completing minor tasks like cleaning, it can reaffirm your ability to do more. 10 Tips for Cleaning When Struggling with Mental Health Mental health struggles and disorders commonly create barriers to one’s ability to clean and properly practice personal hygiene. Although these behaviors are normal side effects of mental health disorders, we want to work to aid our clients in cleaning to the best of their ability even in difficult times. Below, Thrive Wellness occupational therapist Meadow Deason shares some helpful tips she gives to clients when they struggle with cleaning due to mental health conditions: 1.Ask For Help Having support to clean can make a huge difference. Do the cleaning with the person helping you and have them hold you accountable. 2. Don't Wait for Motivation Motivation might not come before action, but it can build as you begin to see the results of your efforts. 3. Start Small Start with one area or one task and go from there. For example, concentrate on your bedroom first and then move on to the living room and bathroom. 4. Do Something Daily Even if you do only one small cleaning task a day, doing that one task creates momentum and prevents small tasks from building up and becoming overwhelming. 5. Use Sensory Modulation Change your environment by playing music, adjusting the lighting, or using aromatherapy. This can help to put you in a new headspace for cleaning. 6. Start with "High Impact" Tasks Start with more intensive or all-over cleaning tasks such as picking up clutter or doing the dishes. The visual "noise" of some tasks makes a large impact on the entire space, building motivation to continue cleaning. 7. Make a To-Do List Write a detailed to-do list of tasks and cross them off as you go. Physically marking down what you’ve accomplished can promote increased motivation. 8. Reward Yourself Set up a reward system where you reward yourself with a favorite activity or item when you complete a task as an incentive to clean. 9. Use the Rocket Method Don't think about it, just choose a task, countdown from five or ten and then start. This can help you to avoid potential anxiety and dread that can prevent you from cleaning. 10. Gamify Tasks Make up a game for your tasks or time yourself to promote increased engagement in cleaning. Your ability to complete tasks can be affected by a multitude of different factors and conditions including OCD , anxiety, depression , ADHD , and more. If you are struggling with motivation due to your mental health, help is here at Thrive Wellness.
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