Self-Care Isn’t Selfish — Saying No to Others and Yes to Yourself

Thrive • July 26, 2021

Self-care can be difficult to fit into your life, especially if you struggle to say no to others. Though you may receive a rush of validation when you make others happy, constantly saying yes to people can result in neglecting your own emotional wellbeing — leaving you with little energy for self-care.

STRUGGLING WITH SELF-CARE?

If you’re always saying yes to others, it can be hard to make space for your own desires. When you align everyone’s desires with your own, taking a moment for just yourself can wrack you with guilt. The thought of saying no to a dinner invitation so you can spend a relaxing night at home may not even cross your mind. 

If this sounds like you, this is your sign to stop compromising your own self-care. Instead of worrying about making others happy, commit to fulfilling your wants — like reading the next chapter of your novel, going on a long walk alone, or meditating.  

Remember, it’s your life. While compromise and flexibility are important aspects of all relationships, you don’t want to lose yourself while attempting to please others. There’s freedom in saying no. By declining other’s requests, you will have more time to explore your own desires.

SELF-CARE = INTUITION

We can get so caught up in fulfilling day-to-day obligations and meeting other people’s expectations. But it’s important to take a quiet moment to see how you’re feeling and consider what you really want from life. Your inner-most desires deserve to be acknowledged, but you’ll never be able to hear them if you don’t take time to check in with yourself. At its essence, this is exactly what self-care is — time to focus on yourself. 

START SAYING YES TO YOURSELF

Not everything you do needs to add to someone else’s life, so stop making decisions based on what would make others happiest. Try doing things just for you, even if they seem frivolous at first. Don’t talk yourself out of taking an art class, going on a solo bike ride, or indulging in a restaurant dinner for one. Instead, listen to yourself, acknowledge your desires, and follow your intuition. 

As you become more in tune with your mental-emotional state, being honest with yourself will come more naturally. You will begin to feel empowered to live authentically. It all starts with saying no to obligations that don’t support your interests, and saying yes to self-care.

A MASSAGE FOR YOUR MIND

Still not exactly sure how to fit self-care into your life? Therapy can provide a welcome outlet for you to process your emotions and regain your balance. Thrive offers outpatient therapy to help you understand your mental-emotional state and promote your personal growth. Reach out to us to learn more.

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Discover the power of small, sustainable changes with "How to Thrive: 10 Simple Habits for Healthy Living." This guide offers practical, easy-to-follow habits that promote physical, mental, and emotional well-being.

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