Creating a Life Worth Living Through Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT)

Thrive • May 25, 2022

By Thrive Wellness Reno DBT Therapist Shannon Servi, LCSW

With foundations in cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT) is typically a year-long therapeutic modality intended to help individuals learn necessary skills for reducing suffering and fostering happiness in their lives. Useful in treating complex and co-occurring conditions simultaneously, DBT addresses struggles clients have with processing and regulating their emotions. Through four types of foundational skills, DBT therapy encourages situationally effective responses. The implementation of these skills provides participants with practical and powerful tools for improving their entire life.

EMOTIONAL DYSREGULATION AND DIALECTICAL BEHAVIORAL THERAPY (DBT)

Characteristic of many different types of mental and behavioral health disorders, emotional dysregulation describes difficulties regulating emotional responses. Those with emotional dysregulation challenges may:

  • Respond to certain circumstances with seemingly unwarranted levels of emotional intensity, especially in situations evoking sadness, anger, fear, guilt, shame, and even love 
  • Become easily displaced from their emotional baseline and find it difficult to return to a more level emotional state

Emotional dysregulation can greatly impact one’s ability to function effectively, have healthy relationships, carry out daily activities, and experience joy in their life. Associated contributing factors of emotional dysregulation may be related to exposure to adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) , which include traumatic experiences of abuse or neglect in one’s early years. 

Some of the mental and behavioral health conditions emotional dysregulation are associated with include eating disorders and substance use disorders . Oftentimes, problematic behaviors such as binging and purging, restriction and avoidance of feared foods , and substance abuse are used by individuals as a way to cope with the severe emotional pain associated with emotional dysregulation. 

Developed in the 1980s by clinical psychologist Marsha Linehan, DBT was intended to treat borderline personality disorder (BPD) , as Linehan herself struggled with BPD and found that effective interventions for the condition were lacking. 

Since its development, DBT has been one of the most tested interventions and has been found to be helpful in treating many different kinds of mental and behavioral health conditions which are often contributed to by emotional dysregulation struggles. DBT is an especially effective therapeutic modality for disorders that are complex, co-occurring, and often unsuccessfully addressed by other interventions alone. One of the strengths of DBT is the flexibility built into its structure that allows providers to incorporate additional approaches such as eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) therapy , emotionally focused therapy (EFT), and internal family systems (IFS) therapy to address complex conditions. In fact, research has found DBT to be effective at treating chronic and pervasive struggles such as persistent suicidality , self-harming behaviors , severe depression , and substance use.

DBT can be used to treat:

When creating DBT, Linehan considered what it meant to live life effectively. Drawing on this consideration, DBT establishes individuals’ commitment to healing by asking them to explore what gives their life meaning. Once an individual has some ideas about what brings them meaning, they can begin to establish goals for achieving what they believe to be a “life worth living.” Then, the method meets participants where they are by validating their suffering while simultaneously promoting positive change. DBT works to balance the principles of acceptance and growth through acknowledgment of current circumstances while also working to make meaningful changes that get individuals closer to their “life worth living” goals.  

THERAPEUTIC FORMAT OF DBT

An adherent DBT treatment program involves individual therapy, skills group therapy, diary cards, and access to therapeutic skills coaching to integrate the DBT skills into a person’s life.

  • Individual therapy: During weekly individual therapy sessions, clients work one-on-one with their therapist on creating their “life worth living.” Participants discuss any challenges and takeaways in applying the DBT skills and work towards their personal treatment goals. Therapists use clients’ diary cards as references during their individual therapy sessions.
  • Skills group therapy: During weekly skills group sessions, participants learn the four modules of DBT skills, including mindfulness, interpersonal effectiveness, emotional regulation, and distress tolerance. Each module contains specific skills that clients practice applying in their everyday lives. Curriculum timelines can vary by provider and program. Thrive’s DBT skills group program lasts 16 weeks. For more specifics, be sure to ask your program’s contact.
  • Diary cards: Throughout their treatment, participants record their personal data on their diary cards. Clients identify and report behaviors that are causing problems in their lives and that they wish to change, called target behaviors. Additionally, diary cards often track emotions, internal and external circumstances that trigger their emotions, called prompting events, and skills participants have used throughout the week. By documenting this information, the therapist and client can explore behavioral patterns. The goal is to identify the function of these behaviors and establish more effective ways of responding in various situations – usually through the use of learned skills.
  • Skills coaching: Another unique aspect of DBT is access to skills coaching. While outside of therapy, clients may reach out to their therapist via phone call or text for real-time skills coaching during challenging situations. This specific element of adherent DBT programming increases the probability of practicing skills effectively outside of the group and individual sessions.  

Initial DBT treatment typically lasts one year, with participants completing a full skills group curriculum twice during that time frame.

THE FOUR DBT SKILL MODULES

While developing DBT, Linehan found that four areas are necessary for living an effective, fulfilling life. 

The four modules of DBT are:

  1. Mindfulness: Mindfulness, which encourages individuals to quiet their minds, is essential to learning and practicing DBT. When experiencing chaos and confusion, mindfulness practices can allow individuals to reconnect to the present moment, quiet negative thoughts and emotions, tune in to their body, and connect to their inner wisdom. 
  2. Interpersonal effectiveness: Black-and-white thinking associated with emotional dysregulation can create problematic volatility within relationships. Because, as humans, we are nourished by supportive, connected relationships, DBT provides skills for navigating relationships in healthy and productive ways.
  3. Emotion regulation: The emotion regulation portion of DBT focuses on reducing vulnerability to negative emotions by educating participants on how emotions function. This section also teaches individuals ways to reduce their vulnerabilities by establishing habits that support physical well-being such as practicing good sleep hygiene and nourishing their body adequately and consistently . This section also teaches strategies to accomplish their “life worth living” goals.
  4. Distress tolerance: Inevitably, everyone experiences circumstances that cause stress and suffering, so DBT teaches clients ways to accept and tolerate uncontrollable, undesirable events without engaging in behaviors that may make the situation and their own agony worse.

An extensive therapeutic course in living life effectively, DBT guides individuals in implementing the skills in ways that allow them to reach their “life worth living” goals.

HOW DBT WORKS

Intended to overcome all-or-nothing or black-and-white thinking patterns, DBT seeks to help individuals balance opposing perspectives. As participants learn the different skills and how to apply them in an effective manner, they begin to hold the seemingly conflicting principles of acceptance and change in tandem. They begin to accept themselves and uncontrollable circumstances, while also doing what they can to improve their situation and promote their overall growth and well-being. 

DBT AT THRIVE WELLNESS

Thrive Wellness offers DBT to clients struggling with emotional dysregulation resulting in a variety of problematic behaviors and disorders, including eating disorders, chronic suicidality, self-harm, substance use, severe depression, trauma, obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), and co-occurring conditions. If you or a loved one may be struggling with emotional dysregulation and unhealthy coping mechanisms, please reach out . Our experts are here to help you thrive mentally, emotionally, and behaviorally so you can lead a life that’s worth living and brimming with fulfillment. 

About the Author

Thrive Wellness Reno DBT Therapist Shannon Servi, LCSW

Shannon Servi completed her master’s in social work at the University of Nevada, Reno and has worked in the mental health field for over a decade, helping people heal from eating disorders. In addition, she has experience working with individuals struggling with borderline personality disorder (BPD), anxiety, depression, obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), bipolar disorder, substance use, and grief. Shannon predominately practices dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) and has training in cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), exposure and response prevention (ERP), motivational interviewing, perinatal mood and anxiety disorders (PMADs), and emotionally focused family therapy (EFFT).

It is one of Shannon’s beliefs that our pasts do not have to dictate our future and we are often stronger and more resilient than we realize. Recovery is possible. Healing is possible.

Shannon is a homegrown Nevadan and enjoys sunshine, comedy, poetry, and quasi-competitive board games. And dogs. She loves dogs.

Favorite Quote:

“Everyone may not be good but there’s always something good in everyone. Never judge anyone shortly because every saint has a past and every sinner has a future.” Oscar Wilde

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Because LGBTQIA+ individuals face added mental health burdens due to stigma and discrimination, taking care of yourself during this time is more important than ever. You might experience increased anxiety, mental exhaustion, or avoidance ahead of coming out, so don’t be afraid to reach out for support. At its core, coming out is about authentic self-expression and showing your truest self, which can feel both exciting and scary at the same time . The self-acceptance and community gained from coming out is a vital part of finding long-term strength and joy. Still, it’s okay if you feel uncertain or conflicted, and these feelings are just part of the process. Before Coming Out: Emotional Preparation Coming out starts with reflection. Remember that there’s no rush when it comes to figuring out who you are. It’s okay to take time to understand your identity and what coming out might mean for you. Here are a few questions to consider: What do I hope to gain by coming out? 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Whether you're preparing to come out, in the midst of sharing your truth, or processing what came after, know that you are worthy of love, safety, and joy. Your truth is worth celebrating, today and everyday! For support during the coming out process and beyond, reach out to our team of affirming, inclusive, and compassionate mental and physical health care providers. We're here for you.
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Prioritizing your mental health doesn’t have to be complicated or difficult, it’s just about doing activities that make you feel joyful, relaxed, or energized, fueling a better outlook on life overall. Here are 10 activities you can do today to help your brain and body to feel their best: 1. Mindful Practices Practicing mindfulness is a simple yet impactful step you can take in improving and protecting your mental health. Mindfulness practices include activities like meditating and mindful breathing to calm the mind and reconnect with the body. Meditation and breathing exercises are shown to reduce stress, improve focus, and grow your self-awareness. For more breathing exercises for anxiety relief, download our free guide “Breathe Easy” . 2. Eating Intuitively Eating intuitively is a powerful way to boost your energy and mood and reduce stress around food, helping to improve your overall mental health. 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Incorporating nature into your daily routine can provide a refreshing break from everyday life, improving your mental health. 6. Make Time for Creative Pursuits Creative activities can be a great outlet for self-expression and reducing stress. Creativity allows you to explore new ideas, solve problems, and connect with your inner self. Even dedicating just 10 minutes a day to creative pursuits can have a positive impact on your mental health. Activities like drawing, painting, journaling, or crafting can help you unwind and stimulate your mind. Creative expression can also improve mood, enhance cognitive function, and foster a sense of accomplishment. 7. Practice Positive Self-talk Positive self-talk is a powerful habit that involves speaking to yourself in a kind, supportive, and encouraging manner. It's about cultivating a positive mindset and nurturing self-compassion. 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Persistent feelings of sadness, anxiety, or emotional distress that interfere with your daily life are clear indicators for seeking professional help. If your coping mechanisms and self-care activities fail to alleviate your mental health concerns, reaching out can offer valuable support and interventions. Nurturing Your Mental Well-being Through Action Investing time and effort in your mental health can make positive differences in your everyday life. By understanding the importance of mental health practices and incorporating proactive strategies, you lay the groundwork for feeling better and staying mentally strong over time. Whether through improved sleep hygiene, mindful practices, or seeking professional help when needed, these efforts can bring more joy, emotional stability, and peace into your life. Make these activities a regular part of your day with a focus on self-growth, and you'll be on your way to a healthier mind and a fuller life.
April 28, 2025
Romantic relationships can be one of the most joyful parts of life, but they can also stir up deep fears, especially for those living with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). When OCD takes shape around your relationship, it’s known as Relationship OCD (ROCD), a lesser-known but deeply distressing form of OCD that centers on obsessive fears and doubts about your partner or the relationship itself. Have you ever found yourself spending hours analyzing how you feel, seeking reassurance that your partner is “the one,” or constantly second-guessing whether you’re truly in love? If so, you’re not alone. ROCD is real, and with the right tools and support, healing is possible. Let’s break down what Relationship OCD really looks like, how it affects interactions, and how to find more peace, connection, and presence in your relationship. What is Relationship OCD? Relationship OCD is a subset of obsessive-compulsive disorder that fixates on doubts, fears, or perceived flaws within romantic relationships. Unlike the normal ups and downs that every couple experiences, ROCD involves a preoccupation with intrusive thoughts that feel impossible to stop thinking about, like whether you’re really attracted to your partner, or if they’re “good enough” for you. These thoughts can feel distressing, uncontrollable, and all-consuming. What sets ROCD apart is the compulsive mental checking that follows. You might replay interactions, examine your partner’s every word, or repeatedly ask friends or family members, “Do you think we’re good together?” These rituals, designed to bring relief, often do the opposite. They intensify the anxiety and begin to erode the connection you’re trying to protect. Relationship OCD Examples: What It Can Look Like in Real Life ROCD doesn’t always look the same for everyone. For some, it shows up as intense anxiety about having children with their partner: “What if they’re not going to be a good parent?” For others, it might revolve around analyzing every interaction or feeling jealous of a past relationship their partner had. Here are a few common presentations of ROCD: “Do I love them enough? ” spirals, even when nothing’s wrong. Feeling distressed if your partner doesn’t respond the “right” way during a conversation. Constantly seeking reassurance from others about your relationship. Comparing your partner to idealized versions of relationships you see online. Avoiding important conversations or decisions (like parent-child planning) because of underlying doubts. The key thing to remember? These thoughts are symptoms of OCD, not reflections of reality. How OCD Affects Relationships ROCD can strain even the strongest partnerships. When someone is stuck in a cycle of obsessions and compulsions, it often leads to emotional distance, communication breakdowns, and frustration on both sides. A partner might feel like they’re walking on eggshells or like they’re being constantly evaluated. Meanwhile, the person experiencing ROCD may feel ashamed, misunderstood, or exhausted by their own mind. Many individuals report feeling like they can’t be fully present during time with their partner because their mind is so busy analyzing, comparing, or worrying. And over time, these patterns can impact the health of the relationship itself. That’s why relationship-centered, mental health-informed approaches are so vital. How to Treat Relationship OCD Thankfully, ROCD is treatable. But the most effective treatments don’t just focus on the relationship, they focus on the OCD. At Thrive, our therapists often use Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and a specialized approach called Exposure and Response Prevention Therapy (ERP) . These modalities help people face their fears without performing compulsions. Over time, this rewires the brain’s response to uncertainty. Therapists may also incorporate experiential techniques like eye movement desensitization and reprocessing, which engage both the body and mind to help clients process intrusive thoughts and emotional pain. For some, prescription medication like SSRIs may be helpful as part of a treatment plan. For couples navigating ROCD together, couples counseling can support healthy communication and connection without reinforcing compulsions. How to Support a Partner with Relationship OCD If your partner is experiencing ROCD, your role is crucial. It's not about "fixing" them though, it’s about being a safe, steady presence. Here are a few ways to support your partner with ROCD: Educate yourself about OCD and ROCD so you can identify symptoms versus your partner’s true feelings. Avoid reassurance loops . It’s tempting to soothe their fears, but constant reassurance can reinforce the cycle. Encourage professional support with a therapist or psychologist experienced in OCD. Focus on building a relationship where uncertainty is tolerated, not feared. Practice empathy. Remember that these thoughts are distressing and involuntary. With the right tools and support, both of you can learn how to thrive even in the midst of mental health challenges. Final Thoughts: Healing Together ROCD can feel isolating and confusing, but you don’t have to face it alone. Whether you’re the one struggling or the one supporting, healing happens through community, compassion, and the right care. At Thrive Wellness, we believe in compassionate, holistic care, and we’re here to walk alongside you. Whether you need individual therapy, couples counseling, or a dedicated treatment plan, we’re here to help you find your way back to connection, peace, and presence. Need support? Reach out today and begin your journey toward healing together. For tools to help you cope with anxious thoughts, download our free breathing exercises guide "Breathe Easy" .
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