Founder and CEO of Thrive Wellness, Kat Geiger, LCSW, CEDS, PMH-C Shares Her Personal Perinatal Loss Story and Healing Journey

Thrive • October 5, 2021

We found out we were pregnant with our second baby in April 2008. Our shared journey through grad school together had been such hard work as young parents. So, the day my husband graduated with his PhD and I graduated with my master’s degree, we felt as though we had finally arrived. It was the perfect day to learn that we were expecting a baby. What a gift! Everything in our life at that point felt like an adventure, so we packed up our loft apartment, our baby girl, and our two dogs and headed to Florida for a well-deserved month-long summer vacation with family and friends before starting a new life in California. We had no place to live nor jobs lined up just yet, but not even these uncertainties could bring us down.

Come fall, we had found a new and more spacious place to live in California, new jobs, and a growing baby bump. I was so excited to be expecting at the same time as my sister for the second time in a row. It was one of those peak moments in life when you almost want to hold your breath in case the simple act of breathing skews things in the wrong direction. We had no reason to think anything with this pregnancy could go wrong since our first pregnancy was as perfect as could be. Our baby girl was healthy and thriving, and our new life was falling into place.

For reasons I still can’t explain, I woke up one day feeling as though something wasn’t right deep down in my gut. I cried and felt an urgent need to get to a doctor and visualize the baby via ultrasound. Once we were able to see a doctor and have our first ultrasound, I felt such a sense of relief. But then, the doctor looked a little too intently and a little too long at the image. She furrowed her brow and asked me to wait while she went to get another clinician, who also looked a little too intently and a little too long at the ultrasound. The doctor left the room again with her colleague and came back. She turned to me and said, “Something is wrong with the baby,” and that I would need to come back for more advanced imaging as soon as possible. Her words hung in the air as I lay there alone in a see-through hospital gown in a cold room with blinking, blinding fluorescent lights. My husband was nearby in the waiting room with our daughter, but it felt as though he was a million miles away. In fact, it felt like everyone was a million miles away for a very long time after that. Have you ever been surrounded by people yet somehow felt utterly and completely alone? I would soon come to know this feeling all too well.

What unfolded over the next several weeks was incredibly difficult. After what felt like forever, we had an advanced ultrasound. I had eaten well, slept soundly (on my left side as recommended), kept as calm as possible, and taken my prenatal vitamins religiously for the last several weeks in hopes of fixing whatever was wrong. There is seemingly a “right” and “wrong” way to do everything when you are expecting – particularly when your pregnancy is considered high-risk. I immediately expressed my fears and anxieties to our ultrasound tech. I let her know that while I realized that she could not share anything specific with me, I would be so grateful if she could just give me a signal if something was seriously wrong. We agreed that she would say, “I’m going to have the radiologist take a second look” if this were the case, which would not jeopardize her license.

While she meticulously scanned every part of my baby’s little body, we chatted about our toddlers, where we went to school, vacations we had enjoyed, and so on. Then, she suddenly stopped scanning, held my hand, looked at me, and said, “I’m going to have the radiologist take a second look.” I immediately broke down and she squeezed my hand again. The radiologist came in within ten minutes. She was extremely kind but extremely busy. She asked us to go to lunch while she finished up with some appointments, promising that we would get some answers shortly. She looked at me and said, “I know asking you to go to lunch and wait will be very hard for you, but I really want to be able to give you some answers today and this is the only way. “

It felt like eons passed over lunch. We returned and finally heard the devastating news from the radiologist. Our baby boy had a condition called idiopathic hydrops fetalis. His tiny heart was failing despite no structural abnormalities and his entire body was swollen. Throughout the next several weeks, we underwent test after test after test. Even the most advanced genetic tests came back as completely normal. No chromosomal abnormalities nor partial chromosomal deletions were detected – nothing that provided answers.

Thankfully, we were able to work with the most wonderful perinatologist, Dr. Larry Newman, MD at Kaiser Permanente in Oakland, California. He had also cared for me during my first pregnancy. A familiar face and compassionate clinician were exactly what I needed. I asked him what the chances of survival for the baby were. He estimated between 10 – 20% and offered to terminate the pregnancy, to which I declined. I was determined to do everything in my power to be as healthy as humanly possible in hopes of saving my baby. I was desperate. I read every piece of literature about every possible cause of idiopathic hydrops fetalis. I saw the doctor every other day for ultrasounds and it seemed like we ruled out 10 different possible diagnoses each visit. He graciously investigated each possibility and offered every obscure genetic test I requested. With every negative test, I began obsessing about the food I was putting in my body a little more. It felt like the only thing I could control in my life. I began growing my own fruits and vegetables, purchasing eggs from pastured hens only, and eating organic free-range chicken and organic grass-fed, free-range beef exclusively. Saving my baby boy was all I could think about. If medical experts couldn’t come up with a cause for the condition, I was determined to do so myself. I felt like the food I was consuming had to be to blame. I could no longer enjoy meals and took pictures of everything I cooked. Because I spent all my time researching empirical data and journal articles on idiopathic hydrops fetalis, I felt like I was not paying enough attention to my toddler.

Finally, at the end of October during an appointment with Dr. Newman, he visualized the baby on the ultrasound once again. This time, he held my shoulder and told me “I’m sorry kiddo, he’s gone.” My baby boy’s heart had stopped beating. What was I doing when he left this world? Was I in the kitchen, gardening, or watching “ The Bachelor ?” His passing was silent, quiet, and unnoticed. There was certain unspoken guilt around this for me.

Dr. Newman asked me to go home, get packed, and meet him at the hospital that evening for an induction. I expected to be granted some sort of grace in my labor as if the universe was going to make this one easy for me since our circumstances were so sad. Unfortunately, mother nature doesn’t pay mind to this sort of thing and labor and delivery is still labor and delivery. Delivery was incredibly difficult and painful, as my baby was born breach. Gratefully, in addition to Dr. Newman, there were other special people who helped me through the experience. A nurse named Malou stands out in my memory as being especially compassionate, kind, and attentive.

Even though I had educated myself on all the research and I knew that seeing him would be the best thing for me, I couldn’t do it. I asked for him to be wrapped in a blanket completely so I could hold him without looking. He was warm, wet, and still. We named him London Alexander.

The next day we were able to go home from the hospital. I was escorted down the hall of the maternity floor in a wheelchair as I left empty-handed. Somehow as we exited, we ended up on an elevator with another family leaving the hospital with their new baby. I closed my eyes. I just couldn’t look. It was one of the most painful moments of my life. I felt alone again – still.

I delivered baby London on a Thursday. I can’t remember much about the following weekend except that my milk came in on Sunday, leading to a sense of betrayal by my own body. Early Monday morning, Dr. Newman called. “This is your last opportunity to see London. They’re going to be performing his autopsy later today,” he said. I knew I had to see him. When I arrived back at the hospital, Dr. Newman met me in a conference room where they had placed London in a bassinet. He was swaddled in a blanket and wore a little hat. Dr. Newman brought a camera and I agreed to let him take a couple of pictures for us to keep. I said goodbye to my son that day and I haven’t seen him since.

I struggled for a long time following his loss. I obsessed over clean eating and spent hours a day pouring over London’s autopsy, lab work, and advanced genetic test results. I continued to seek answers in academic and medical journals. I felt that if I ate healthy enough and found answers, I could prevent this from ever happening again. I never got the answers that I was looking for and eventually, meticulous meal planning became less important.

The grieving process was trying. Have you ever heard a song that doesn’t feel like it has an ending? The music just kind of fades out slowly. That’s what this grieving process was like for me – a song that lingers and finally fades out slowly. Over time, my mind healed, my body healed, and the obsession of digging to find out what went wrong gave way to ballet recitals and t-ball games for my daughter.

Being a therapist sometimes means that others assume I can figure it all out for myself, but that’s a common misconception. I was very fortunate to have a strong support system through my family, friends, and therapist – all of who supported me in different ways and helped me heal in my own time and on my own terms. It was a blessing to have a built-in support system, but not all are as fortunate. And, even though I was surrounded by support, I often felt alone and misunderstood because I did not know anybody who had experienced anything similar.

Reflecting on my own experience opened my eyes, mind, and heart to a need being unmet on a mass scale. When I established Thrive Wellness Reno, I knew I wanted to help families suffering from the tragedy of pregnancy or infant loss and simultaneously soften the stigma around seeking therapeutic support. I am so proud of our perinatal mental health program which not only offers outpatient therapy for individuals and couples, but also a community-oriented and complimentary Perinatal Loss and Grief Support Group that provides participants with an opportunity to connect with others who are recovering from similar circumstances. They say it takes a village to raise a child. I believe it also takes a village to grieve and heal from the loss of one.

The post Founder and CEO of Thrive Wellness, Kat Geiger, LCSW, CEDS, PMH-C Shares Her Personal Perinatal Loss Story and Healing Journey first appeared on Thrive Wellness.

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The Power of Community: 5 Benefits of Support Groups

January 16, 2025

Support groups serve as a critical resource for those seeking a sense of community while navigating life's challenges. The benefits of support groups extend beyond the mere sharing of experiences; these groups provide valuable emotional support, foster a sense of community, and enhance mental wellbeing. In this blog post, we will explore what support groups are, how to find the right one for you, the various benefits they offer, and specific options available here at Thrive Wellness. What is a Support Group and How Can It Help Me? A support group is an organized gathering of people who share similar experiences or challenges, providing a space to find mutual support and understanding. These groups are safe and confidential spaces where participants can express their feelings, share personal stories, and receive emotional support from others who understand their unique struggles. Support groups are also powerful tools for reducing the feelings of isolation that can come with a challenging or traumatizing experience or being diagnosed with a mental health disorder. When you come together in the clinical setting, you can share experiences and gain unique insights from others. This sense of belonging often leads to improved mental wellbeing, as participants feel less alone in their struggles. Through the shared wisdom of the group and a therapist, members can learn important skills like coping strategies, gain encouragement, and develop a stronger sense of community and support. The collective strength that can come from these shared experiences contributes to personal growth, allowing attendees to thrive in their everyday lives. How Do I Find a Support Group That is Right for Me? Finding the right support group for you is essential to getting the most out of your experience. You can begin by researching local groups that align with your specific support needs and interests. Consider the focus of a group and whether it fits with the challenges you face. Healthcare professionals, therapists, or counselors can provide tailored recommendations and guide you to potential options. It's also important to consider logistical factors such as location, meeting frequency, and whether the group meets in-person or virtually. At Thrive, our admissions process for groups involves a 30 minute meeting with a group leader prior to joining to ensure that you are a suitable fit. What Are the Benefits of Support Groups? Support groups provide a multitude of benefits to help improve your emotional, mental, and social wellness. 1. Safe space for expressing emotions Support groups offer a safe environment where you can express your feelings and share experiences with others facing similar challenges with the assurance of confidentiality. This sense of emotional support is crucial if you are working though complex emotions, hardships, or trauma. 2. Sense of belonging and community Support groups help you to build a stronger sense of community. Through joining, participants can experience reduced feelings of isolation, knowing they are not alone in their struggles. 3. Exchange of advice and strategies Groups are great avenues for sharing knowledge, allowing members to exchange practical advice and coping strategies specific to their shared situations. In addition, therapists guide growth and provide practical strategies to help deal with challenges as they lead support groups. 4. Enhanced coping mechanisms Regular participation in groups can significantly improve your coping skills, enhancing your ability to manage anxieties and challenges associated with your experience or condition. Therapists are trained in teaching their groups effective coping skills specific to their needs. 5. Motivation for personal goals Groups provide a network of support, encouragement and motivation where attendees can cheer each other on in achieving their shared goals. Other group members can hold you accountable in pursuing your personal goals and staying on track with your treatment plan. What Support Groups Does Thrive Wellness Offer? Thrive Wellness offers a variety of support groups tailored to people's unique needs, ensuring comprehensive emotional and mental health support. Each support group is facilitated by experienced professionals offering guidance over the course of a group session. Groups being offered now at Thrive include a Perinatal Mental Health Support Group , a Social Anxiety Skills Group , a Body Image Skills Group , and a Teen Body Image Skills Group . Our admission process for groups is as follows: An individual therapist will submit a referral, then our client experience team will reach out to you to schedule a 30 minute group intake meeting with the group leader to ensure that you are an appropriate fit for the group. From there, you are admitted and scheduled to the group. All groups cost $50 for cash pay, however copays are collected when insurance is billed. Finding Strength Through Connection Support groups offer powerful benefits, making them a vital resource for those seeking emotional and mental support. Whether you are exploring what a support group is, searching for the right one for your needs, or looking into our specific offerings here at Thrive Wellness, the impact of these groups is real. By connecting with those who share similar experiences as you, you can find comfort, strength, and a renewed sense of hope, empowering you to face life's challenges with a team of people on your side.

Winter Blues and Seasonal Affective Disorder: Why Winter Days Can Darken Your Mood and Ways to Brighten Your Outlook

January 9, 2025

Even if you look forward to the ski season all year, can't wait to read a good book by a crackling fireplace, and count down the days until you can frolic through fresh snow, you can also experience seasonal affective disorder or the winter blues. Dreary winter days stuck indoors can make it difficult for many to summon their natural cheerfulness, gratitude, and enthusiasm for life. This shift in mood may be confusing, especially if you're typically captivated by wintertime wonders. As the nights lengthen, days shorten, temperatures drop, and storm clouds block the sun, your mood can darken too. Essentially, the changing patterns of sunlight can disrupt your circadian rhythm (a kind of biological clock that influences your sleepiness and wakefulness patterns) and hormonal balance. Two conditions commonly develop during the winter: the winter blues and seasonal affective disorder (SAD), recently designated Major Depressive Disorder (MDD) with a Seasonal Pattern . Below, you can explore the differences between the winter blues and SAD, and find strategies to boost your mood and reclaim your motivation during the winter season. What Are the Winter Blues? Individuals struggling with the winter blues generally experience feelings of sadness, fatigue, and loneliness attributed to bleak winter weather. Although not considered a mental disorder, the winter blues may cause you to feel like a gloomy, less motivated version of yourself, while still being able to participate in and enjoy daily activities. Symptoms of the Winter Blues Feeling sad or down during the winter months Decreased motivation or energy Changes or difficulty with sleeping Causes of the Winter Blues Cold weather Shorter days, longer nights Decrease or change in exposure to sunlight and vitamin D production Risk Factors for the Winter Blues Lack of connection to community and social interactions History of depression or anxiety Environmental considerations (such as living in a climate that experiences particularly long or harsh winters) What is Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)? Also known as seasonal depression, SAD or MDD with a Seasonal Pattern is a subtype of major depressive disorder that interferes with a persons ability to engage in everyday life and find pleasure in activities that typically spark joy. In most cases, a person struggling with SAD will experience depression that begins in the fall or winter and ends in the spring. Less commonly, individuals may experience SAD in the summer, possibly brought on by exposure to too much sunlight that can cause sleeplessness, agitation, and anxiety. Symptoms of Seasonal Affective Disorder Depressed mood or sadness Decreased motivation or energy Hypersomnia (or excessive sleepiness and oversleeping) Eating beyond fullness Weight gain Loss of interest in hobbies or activities that usually evoke happiness Social isolation and withdrawal Increased feelings of agitation or irritability Difficulty concentrating Sense of hopelessness Suicidal thoughts Causes of Seasonal Affective Disorder Decrease or change in exposure to sunlight and vitamin D production, resulting in: Changes in circadian rhythm (disruption to your body's internal clock) Hormonal fluctuation, including imbalances of serotonin and melatonin Risk Factors for Seasonal Affective Disorder History of depression or anxiety Genetic factors Environmental considerations (such as living in a climate that experiences particularly long or harsh winters, resulting in decreased social interactions and activity) Ways to Boost Your Mood During Wintertime You can fight the winter blues and wrap yourself in warmth by incorporating some of the self-care strategies below into your wintertime routine. Eat intuitively. The way you nourish your body is directly connected to your mental health , but shorter days may disrupt breakfast, lunch, dinner, and snack time routines. By listening to your fullness and hunger cues, while also eating an array of foods consistently and adequately, you can promote your well-being including your emotional health. Move mindfully. Allowing yourself the time and space to move intentionally can do wonders for your mind-body-spirit connection. Research shows that mindful movement can help lower stress and anxiety in addition to relieving depression and improving overall mood. Commit to a consistent sleep and wake routine. By going to bed and waking up at the same times every day, you can practice good sleep hygiene , which can help you regulate your emotions effectively and promote overall well-being. Spend time outdoors in the sun. Sunlight promotes the body's vitamin D production and vitamin D is believed to affect the regulation of the feel-good hormone serotonin. By doing your best to soak up the sunshine when it graces the sky, you can help foster feelings of happiness. Maintain connections with family and friends. Loved ones can infuse dismal winter days and long winter nights with laughter, companionship, and a sense of belonging. Participate in service projects and other community activities . Offering your time to individuals in need and enveloping yourself in your community can bring you a sense of purpose, meaning, and connection. Your presence can light up the lives of others, making you feel good in turn. For more habits that create a well-balanced lifestyle and improve your mental and physical health, download our free guide "How to Thrive." Clinical Treatment for the Winter Blues and SAD If your sadness, lethargy, or other depressive symptoms begin to impair your daily functioning or extend beyond the season, we encourage you to speak with a healthcare provider. Licensed professionals can guide you in developing coping skills, reducing your depressive symptoms, and increasing your resiliency and motivation. In some cases, you may be prescribed light therapy or antidepressants to ease symptoms. You deserve to feel wonderful any time of year, and through outpatient therapy , Thrive can help you embrace the winter season with joy. Reach out to us to learn more. This blog post was originally posted December 22, 2021

Instead of Setting New Year's Resolutions, do this

January 2, 2025

Ah, New Year’s resolutions. The moment January 1 rolls around, it feels like everyone is armed with a laundry list of goals: lose weight, save money, drink more water, learn to play a new instrument. While these aspirations might look great on paper, the truth is they often come with a side of unnecessary pressure—and let’s be real, most of us abandon them by February anyway. This year, let’s flip the script. Instead of piling on more goals, how about taking a breath and reflecting on everything you’ve already accomplished? Trust me, there’s a better way to approach the new year without the stress of rigid resolutions. Why Resolutions Often Fall Flat The tradition of setting resolutions can feel exciting, but it’s easy to fall into the trap of overdoing it. We create lists of lofty goals, expecting ourselves to magically transform overnight. But what happens when life gets messy, work gets busy, or we simply don’t have the energy to crush it every day? The result is usually guilt, frustration, and a sense of failure—not exactly the motivational vibe we were aiming for. The problem with traditional resolutions is that they often overlook the importance of realistic planning and self-reflection. Instead of motivating us, they can pile onto the stress we’re already carrying. Give Yourself Permission to Pause Let’s start 2025 differently. Instead of asking yourself what you need to do, take a moment to consider what you’ve already done. Acknowledge the challenges you’ve navigated and the wins—big or small—that brought you here. This shift isn’t about giving up on growth or change; it’s about embracing a more compassionate, flexible approach to your well-being. Reflect on Your Wins From 2024 Before you set any intentions for 2025, pause and reflect on the year that’s just passed. Here are some questions to guide your thoughts: • What were my biggest wins from 2024? Celebrate the moments that made you proud. Maybe it was a professional milestone or simply surviving a tough season. Wins don’t have to be monumental to be meaningful. • What relationships were most meaningful to me? Think about the people who supported you, made you laugh, or helped you grow. How can you nurture those connections in the year ahead? • What surprised me most about 2024? Life has a way of throwing curveballs. Reflecting on how you adapted can help you appreciate your resilience and prepare for the unexpected. • What should I say “no” to? What would I like to say “yes” to? Sometimes, the key to growth is learning what no longer serves you. Saying “no” to draining commitments makes space for the things that truly light you up. • What am I most proud of and grateful for? Gratitude is a powerful tool for shifting perspective. Take time to appreciate the moments, people, and experiences that enriched your life. Start 2025 With Intention The beauty of reflection is that it allows us to set intentions that feel authentic and achievable. Instead of chasing resolutions rooted in perfection, focus on growth, gratitude, and balance. This year, let’s give ourselves permission to start small and prioritize what truly matters. Take a Self-Care Step With Our “Breathe Easy” Guide If you’re looking for a gentle way to begin 2025, our free Breathe Easy guide is the perfect place to start. It’s packed with simple breathing exercises designed to help you reduce stress, refocus your mind, and find a sense of calm—no matter how chaotic life feels. Download it today and give yourself the gift of a fresh start, one deep breath at a time. Let’s make 2025 the year we breathe easier, live more intentionally, and celebrate the progress we’ve already made. You’ve got this!