How to Talk About Mental Health With Your Teen (Without Making Them Shut Down)

Julia Actis, LCSW • September 11, 2025

6 Ways to Help Your Teen Open Up About Mental Health

Many parents know it’s important to talk about mental health with their teens, but knowing how to go about it can feel tricky. Adolescents are juggling a lot: big emotions, social pressures, academic stress, and more. Sometimes, the more you try to talk with them about these challenges, the more they pull away.


Parents often share the same frustration: “Every time I try to talk about mental health, my teen shuts me out.”


But the truth is, your goal as a parent shouldn't be to force them to open up. Instead, your job is to create a safe, supportive environment where your teen wants to share. That shift in perspective can reduce the pressure on conversations and help you build genuine trust with your teen.


To help, here are six therapist-backed strategies you can start using right away:


1. Keep it casual

Teens are more likely to open up during the everyday moments like driving, walking, or cooking rather than during a formal, sit-down “talk” that can induce anxiety and put pressure on the conversation.


Try this:
“I really enjoy these little moments we get to spend together. How are things going for you lately?”


2. Lead with what you notice

When you’ve picked up on a change in your teen’s mood, health, or behavior, bring it up gently and without judgment. Stick to objective observations instead of accusations. This helps your teen feel seen instead of attacked.


Try this:
“I’ve noticed you’ve seemed more tired than usual. What’s that been like for you?”


3. Normalize the conversation

Help your teen understand that mental health is a normal, important part of overall well-being. Framing it this way reduces stigma and makes it easier for them to talk about what they’re experiencing.


Try this:
“Everyone has days that feel heavier than others. What’s been hardest for you this week?”


4. Be vulnerable (but keep it light)

Sharing small examples from your own life can help your teen feel less alone. Let your teen know that everyone struggles with their mental health sometimes, even their parents. Just make sure your story stays short and doesn’t shift the focus away from them.


Try this:
“Before exams, I used to feel so anxious I couldn’t sleep. What helps you when you’re stressed?”


5. Give them a choice

Show your teen you respect their independence and boundaries by letting them decide how and when to talk. Putting pressure on having a conversation at a set time can make your teen feel cornered and increase their anxiety. Instead, let them decide when they’re ready to talk.


Try this:
“Would you like to talk about this now, or should we come back to it later?”


6. Keep the door open

Not every check-in needs to be a deep, drawn-out talk. Instead focus on consistent, gentle check-ins that build trust over time. This shows your teen that you'll be there for them whenever they’re ready to open up.


Try this:
“I really appreciate you sharing that with me. I’m here whenever you want to talk again.”


When supporting your teen’s mental health, prioritize building vulnerability, trust, and respect. By approaching conversations with openness instead of pressure, you lower the risk of shutdown and increase the chance of meaningful connection. Creating a safe space to share encourages your teen to come to you when it matters most.


And remember, if you notice ongoing signs of distress, such as changes in sleep, appetite, motivation, or mood, don’t hesitate to reach out to a mental health professional. Support from a therapist can make all the difference for both your teen and your family.

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September 22, 2025
Eating disorders are one of the most serious mental health concerns facing today’s adolescents. They can affect every aspect of a young person’s life, including their physical health, school performance, relationships, self-esteem, and more. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, about 2.7% of adolescents in the U.S. will experience an eating disorder in their lifetime, and many more engage in disordered eating behaviors that may not meet full diagnostic criteria. The good news is that providers are in an influential position to notice early warning signs, open conversations, and connect families to support before these patterns of behavior become too engrained. Why Early Intervention Matters The earlier an eating disorder is identified and treated, the better the treatment outcomes. Research shows that getting support quickly after the disorder’s onset is linked to faster recovery, lower relapse rates, and healthier long-term development (Treasure & Russell, 2011). Waiting too long to seek help can mean medical complications, deeply ingrained behaviors, and a more difficult path to healing. For many adolescents, a caring provider who notices the signs and advocates for treatment can make all the difference in recovery and can even save lives. Recognizing Early Warning Signs Adolescents may not always disclose their struggles directly, so providers should keep an eye out for a range of indicators: Physical signs: noticeable weight changes, menstrual irregularities, digestive issues, dizziness, or fatigue. Behavioral patterns: skipping meals, restrictive eating, excessive exercise, frequent dieting, eating in secret, or leaving for the bathroom after meals. Emotional and cognitive signs: preoccupation with weight or body shape, food rituals, heightened anxiety around eating, or perfectionistic tendencies. It’s important to remember that eating disorders don’t always “look” a certain way. Teens can be distressed about food and body image even if their weight appears to be within a “normal” range. Screening Tools and Assessments Using free screening tools available online can be an effective way to gauge a patient’s needs and gain further insight on treatment options for a possible eating disorder. Here are 4 free screening resources we recommend you use before making a referral for a higher level of care. EDE-Q (Eating Disorder Examination Questionnaire) : helps assess eating attitudes and behaviors. Nine Item Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake disorder screen (NIAS) : helps to assess the signs of ARFID in children. Eat 26 Screening Tool : a screening measure to help you determine attitudes towards food and eating. BEDS-7 (Binge Eating Disorder Screener) : for situations where binge eating is suspected. When possible, gathering input from parents, teachers, or coaches can also help, as teens may minimize their experiences out of fear or shame. The Role of Primary Care and Pediatric Providers Routine checkups are often where eating disorders first come to light. Providers treating children, teen, and adolescents can: Incorporate simple questions about eating habits and body image into wellness visits. Track growth charts and weight trends while pairing them with questions about mood, anxiety, and behavior. Foster trust by creating a safe, nonjudgmental space where adolescents feel comfortable sharing sensitive information and know there will be no weight stigma. Coordinating Multidisciplinary Care Supporting a young person with an eating disorder works best when care is collaborative . In order to treat the whole person, there are usually multiple members of a treatment team needed, including: Medical support: monitoring vital signs, lab work, and physical health. Therapeutic care: evidence-based approaches such as family-based therapy (FBT) and cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) help address thoughts and behaviors. Nutritional guidance: dietitians provide education, meal support, and reassurance. Family involvement: engaging caregivers empowers them to support recovery in everyday life. Addressing Barriers and Stigma Many families face challenges in seeking help, whether due to stigma, lack of awareness, or limited access to specialists. To help, providers can: Normalize conversations about body image and mental health as part of overall well-being. Use culturally sensitive approaches that honor diverse experiences with food, body, and health. Connect families to community organizations, online resources, or telehealth when in-person specialty care is limited. Eating disorders in adolescents are serious, but with early recognition and timely support, recovery is possible. Providers are often the first to notice changes and can play a vital role in opening doors to crucial support. By blending professional expertise with empathy and collaboration, providers can guide adolescents and their families toward lasting recovery and a healthier future. References National Institute of Mental Health. (2023). Eating Disorders . Treasure, J., & Russell, G. (2011). The case for early intervention in anorexia nervosa: theoretical exploration of maintaining factors. The British journal of psychiatry : the journal of mental science, 199(1) , 5–7.
August 21, 2025
When Emma was 8, her parents noticed her food choices shrinking. At first, they assumed it was just picky eating — “She’ll outgrow it,” friends said. But by 10, Emma would only eat crackers, cheese, and chicken nuggets. Family dinners became nightly struggles, her growth slowed, and she skipped birthday parties to avoid “strange food.” Her parents felt powerless, her brother grew frustrated, and outings dwindled. What began as food avoidance soon reshaped the rhythm of the entire household. When children avoid food, most parents expect it’s a passing stage. But when restriction deepens, shrinks to only a few “safe foods,” and begins affecting growth or health, families suddenly find themselves in unfamiliar territory. This is often where Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder (ARFID) emerges — with effects that extend far beyond the plate. As providers, we need to be attuned to these patterns. It’s tempting to dismiss them as “no big deal,” yet for many families, they are life-altering. Sadly, Emma’s story is not unusual. Mealtimes as Battlegrounds Families living with ARFID often describe mealtimes as emotionally charged, exhausting, and unpredictable. What should be a chance to connect around the table can feel more like a negotiation or even a standoff. Parents wrestle with whether to push their child to try a new food or give in to the same “safe foods” again and again to avoid tears, gagging, or complete meltdowns. This ongoing tension can make mealtimes dreaded rather than cherished. Siblings, too, are affected. Some may feel resentful when family meals are limited to what only one child will tolerate. Others may act out in response to the constant attention the child with ARFID receives. Over time, the dinner table shifts from a place of nourishment and bonding into a stage for conflict, anxiety, and guilt — a pattern that can erode family cohesion and resilience. Social Isolation and Missed Experiences ARFID impacts more than what happens at home; it influences how families engage with the world around them. Everyday events — birthday parties, school lunches, vacations, even extended family dinners — become sources of stress. Parents may pack special foods to avoid confrontation or, in many cases, decline invitations altogether to protect their child from embarrassment or overwhelm. This avoidance can lead to an unintended consequence: isolation. Families miss out on milestones, friendships, and traditions because of the unpredictability surrounding food. The child may feel left out or ashamed, while parents grieve the loss of “normal” family experiences. This social withdrawal can compound the anxiety already present in ARFID and deepen its impact across generations. Emotional Toll on Parents The emotional strain on parents navigating ARFID is significant. Many describe living in a constant state of worry — Will my child get enough nutrients? Will they ever grow out of this? Am I doing something wrong? This worry often spirals into guilt and self-blame, particularly when outside voices dismiss the disorder as mere “picky eating.” In addition, the pressure to “fix” mealtimes can strain marital relationships, creating disagreements over discipline, feeding strategies, or medical decisions. Parents may also feel emotionally depleted, pouring all their energy into managing one child’s needs while inadvertently neglecting themselves or their other children. Without support, this chronic stress can lead to burnout, depression, and disconnection within the family system. The Role of Providers For clinicians, ARFID must be viewed not only as an individual diagnosis but as a family-wide challenge. Effective care requires attention to both the clinical symptoms and the family dynamics that shape recovery. Parent Support: Educating caregivers that ARFID is not their fault, offering psychoeducation, and helping them reframe mealtime struggles as part of the disorder — not a parenting failure. Family-Based Interventions: Coaching families in structured meal support, communication strategies, and gradual exposure work so parents don’t feel powerless. Holistic Care: Involving therapists, dietitians, occupational therapists, and medical providers ensures that the family does not shoulder the weight of treatment alone. When families are validated, supported, and given practical tools, the entire household can begin to heal. Treatment is not only about expanding a child’s food repertoire but also about restoring peace, resilience, and connection at home. Moving Forward ARFID may begin with one individual, but its ripple effects are felt across the entire family system. By addressing both the psychological and relational dimensions, providers can help transform mealtimes from a source of conflict into an opportunity for healing and connection. For those who want to go deeper, we invite you to join our upcoming training on ARFID , where we will explore practical strategies for supporting both clients and their families.
July 30, 2025
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