Pressure, Anxiety, Depression-Being a Teen is Harder than it Appears

Thrive • April 9, 2021

Your teenage years might be the most fun, confusing, challenging time of your life. It’s when you start to discover who you are. As you carve out your identity, you also have to worry about other things. Are people going to accept you for you? Are you going to go to college? Are you going to find a date for the prom? Are you going to pass your chemistry test?

Teens must juggle academics, sports, school activities, family obligations, social life, and jobs. They face the pressure to be perfect. They are expected to both look and act in a way that is acceptable to their peers, parents, teachers, and coaches. Sometimes it might feel like they are going to explode from all the pressure. As a parent, you can be a source of support to your child.

  • Check in on them regularly. Since their world is so fast paced, it is helpful to check in on them. Ask open ended questions e.g. “tell me about your day”, “tell me about a high point and a low point you had at school today”, “give me an update on so and so (their best friend).” This lets you know how your teen is doing and deepens conversation by not asking questions that elicit simple “yes/no” answers.

  • Be a friend. Yes, you are a parent but you can still be a friend to them. Ask them to hangout! Show some interest in learning about what they love: what’s their favorite movie/song/game and why? Choose to watch/listen/learn these things with them. Treat them to a nice one on one lunch. Bonding with your teen is so important! This makes it easier for them to confide in you.

  • Encourage them to do activities they love. Maybe you loved being a track star in high school, but that does not mean your teen is going to love it. Maybe they want to play soccer or do theatre. Help them engage in activities that will make them happy and promote their unique preferences and skills.

  • Remind them how much you love them. No one ever gets sick of someone saying “I love you and I am proud of you.” Words are powerful!

Is your teen on social media?

Social media dynamics add even more pressure to our teens. How many followers do they have? Did their crush like their picture? Were they invited to the party everyone is posting about? Social media has made bullying ever-present in some teens’ lives. Rumors can spread like wildfire on social media. According to the Pew Research Center , 59 percent of U.S. teens have experienced some type of harassment on social media. Being a parent means walking a tightrope that straddles invasiveness and safety. While you do not want to be too invasive in your teens social media, it is always a good idea to have some barometer for their social media accounts. Familiarizing yourself with each social media platform by making some social media accounts of your own is always a good idea. Ask to “follow” your teen. Talk openly and often about online safety- including online bullying and not sharing personal information .

How do we help our teens thrive?

Many teens struggle with anxiety, depression, and social phobias. Hold on to hope! Mental health support is available to struggling teens. Thrive offers a weekly teen support group that meets every Thursday at 5 p.m. The group is intended to help teens work through struggles and emotions alongside other teens who are going through similar situations. We understand that some teens might need higher levels of support. Our therapists are passionate about working with youth so they can live a life they are in love with. In addition to eating disorders , we specialize in treating an array of mental health struggles , including anxiety and depressive disorders, obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD), grief and loss, life transitions, other mood disorders, and the intersection of these. Let us support your teen and provide the care they need to heal and grow. Visit ThriveWellnessReno.com to learn more.

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By Julia Actis, LCSW September 11, 2025
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When Emma was 8, her parents noticed her food choices shrinking. At first, they assumed it was just picky eating — “She’ll outgrow it,” friends said. But by 10, Emma would only eat crackers, cheese, and chicken nuggets. Family dinners became nightly struggles, her growth slowed, and she skipped birthday parties to avoid “strange food.” Her parents felt powerless, her brother grew frustrated, and outings dwindled. What began as food avoidance soon reshaped the rhythm of the entire household. When children avoid food, most parents expect it’s a passing stage. But when restriction deepens, shrinks to only a few “safe foods,” and begins affecting growth or health, families suddenly find themselves in unfamiliar territory. This is often where Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder (ARFID) emerges — with effects that extend far beyond the plate. As providers, we need to be attuned to these patterns. It’s tempting to dismiss them as “no big deal,” yet for many families, they are life-altering. Sadly, Emma’s story is not unusual. Mealtimes as Battlegrounds Families living with ARFID often describe mealtimes as emotionally charged, exhausting, and unpredictable. What should be a chance to connect around the table can feel more like a negotiation or even a standoff. Parents wrestle with whether to push their child to try a new food or give in to the same “safe foods” again and again to avoid tears, gagging, or complete meltdowns. This ongoing tension can make mealtimes dreaded rather than cherished. Siblings, too, are affected. Some may feel resentful when family meals are limited to what only one child will tolerate. Others may act out in response to the constant attention the child with ARFID receives. Over time, the dinner table shifts from a place of nourishment and bonding into a stage for conflict, anxiety, and guilt — a pattern that can erode family cohesion and resilience. Social Isolation and Missed Experiences ARFID impacts more than what happens at home; it influences how families engage with the world around them. Everyday events — birthday parties, school lunches, vacations, even extended family dinners — become sources of stress. Parents may pack special foods to avoid confrontation or, in many cases, decline invitations altogether to protect their child from embarrassment or overwhelm. This avoidance can lead to an unintended consequence: isolation. Families miss out on milestones, friendships, and traditions because of the unpredictability surrounding food. The child may feel left out or ashamed, while parents grieve the loss of “normal” family experiences. This social withdrawal can compound the anxiety already present in ARFID and deepen its impact across generations. Emotional Toll on Parents The emotional strain on parents navigating ARFID is significant. Many describe living in a constant state of worry — Will my child get enough nutrients? Will they ever grow out of this? Am I doing something wrong? This worry often spirals into guilt and self-blame, particularly when outside voices dismiss the disorder as mere “picky eating.” In addition, the pressure to “fix” mealtimes can strain marital relationships, creating disagreements over discipline, feeding strategies, or medical decisions. Parents may also feel emotionally depleted, pouring all their energy into managing one child’s needs while inadvertently neglecting themselves or their other children. Without support, this chronic stress can lead to burnout, depression, and disconnection within the family system. The Role of Providers For clinicians, ARFID must be viewed not only as an individual diagnosis but as a family-wide challenge. Effective care requires attention to both the clinical symptoms and the family dynamics that shape recovery. Parent Support: Educating caregivers that ARFID is not their fault, offering psychoeducation, and helping them reframe mealtime struggles as part of the disorder — not a parenting failure. Family-Based Interventions: Coaching families in structured meal support, communication strategies, and gradual exposure work so parents don’t feel powerless. Holistic Care: Involving therapists, dietitians, occupational therapists, and medical providers ensures that the family does not shoulder the weight of treatment alone. When families are validated, supported, and given practical tools, the entire household can begin to heal. Treatment is not only about expanding a child’s food repertoire but also about restoring peace, resilience, and connection at home. Moving Forward ARFID may begin with one individual, but its ripple effects are felt across the entire family system. By addressing both the psychological and relational dimensions, providers can help transform mealtimes from a source of conflict into an opportunity for healing and connection. For those who want to go deeper, we invite you to join our upcoming training on ARFID , where we will explore practical strategies for supporting both clients and their families.
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