Tips and Tricks for Adjusting to New Parenthood: Your Therapist’s Expectations vs. Your Reality as a New Parent

Thrive • May 18, 2021

By Amanda Boe, PMAD Program Clinical Lead and Therapist at Thrive

THE STRUGGLE IS REAL

Just get through the day. This has been a mantra that I’ve held on to quite tightly throughout my pregnancy and post-partum. My daughter is six months old and after experiencing three miscarriages prior to her, the only thing I was focused on was staying pregnant. So much so that I didn’t “nest” much or prepare my heart at all for the changes that were going to occur. 

Most of the time I feel like I’m stumbling through the day. Well actually, I quite literally am stumbling like a drunk because I’ve had maybe 45 minutes of sleep (while my husband rested peacefully) and my body and circulation have changed! (Nobody told me that). With my feet throbbing on pins and needles, I rock and carry my baby who only wants me to hold her or stay within her line of sight. This is how we finish laundry, emails and this blog. Honestly more times than I’d like to admit, I have bumped my daughter’s head on our washer as I’m leaning in to transfer clothes. 

This is it. This is motherhood. I question every single move I make. I wonder if people think I look awkward with my daughter. People call me a professional because I work with children, parents, and their RELATIONSHIPS, but honestly, I barely have a clue what I’m doing with my own. I wonder what my daughter thinks of me — poor thing may think it’s normal for mamas to have to look up everything on the internet before we try a new food. 

I’ve often relied on my own mother, coworkers and mama friends to provide me with validation and insight while navigating motherhood. But when I text that mama friend about seeing things on the internet and asking her opinion, she kindly laughs it off and reminds me we are all struggling. That’s the input I need — I need to know I’m not the only one. Through this blog, I hope to shine a light on how the ethereal expectations of motherhood differ from the messy reality. 

With this goal in mind, I asked some of my most valued mama friends who are also my coworkers to help normalize motherhood struggles and their responses were GOLD. 

I’ll go first.

ADVICE FROM AMANDA

Amanda Boe, PMAD Program Clinical Lead and Therapist at Thrive

The struggle: Adjusting to balancing work and motherhood

  • My advice as a therapist: It’s important to recognize that your identity can be in both your career and motherhood. Fostering and finding your sense of self is important while your systems change. My hope is that my relationship with myself is benefited by holding both roles.  
  • My experience as a parent: It’s not balancing. It’s holding so many things at once and if you drop one thing, you drop it all. But also don’t offer to take something off my plate because I don’t want to miss anything. The real balance is between FOMO and mom guilt. 

 

ADVICE FROM ANN 

Ann Edinton, LCSW, Therapist at Thrive

Here’s what my colleague, fellow mama, and friend, Ann Edgington, LCSW, had to say about parenting expectations vs. reality — 

The struggle: Waking up throughout the night and the resulting sleep deprivation

  • My advice as a therapist: Sleeping through the night is a developmental milestone similar to walking and talking. There are things you can do to help your child along, but ultimately they’re going to reach those milestones on their own, regardless of what you do. The part of their life when they are waking multiple times per night is very short in the whole picture of their life and certainly in the picture of their life in your care. Surround yourself with help. This can include support from family and friends, a night doula, or even a sleep consultant if that fits your style. Know that this too shall pass, and 3 a.m. is a great time to remember there are millions of others like you up at the exact same time for the exact same reason. 
  • My experience as a parent: Sleep when the baby sleeps, and clean when the baby cleans, amiright ? There’s the physical exhaustion of sleep deprivation but then there’s the exhaustion of just general parenthood (and parenthood in a pandemic and parenthood in America), which is next level and goes beyond just being sleepy. My kid’s morning smiles seem to wipe that out until the next night at 3 a.m. What a rollercoaster. 

The struggle: Baby and toddler meltdowns

  • My advice as a therapist: Humans are not born with coping skills or emotional or verbal processing skills, and all of these skills are vital to navigating conflict in our world. It’s our job as adults to take care of ourselves so that we can remain regulated enough to help our little ones through upsets and meltdowns. It’s so important to curate your environment so that you have the support you need to keep calm as you make your way through the meltdowns. 
  • My experience as a parent: All of the stuff you thought you had such a great handle on before the baby will come for you in the night, and the day, and several moments in between. You will have moments when you need to go sit in the room on the other side of the house so that you don’t hear your toddler screaming bloody murder because your partner is (God forbid) trying to wash the yogurt out of his hair in the bath. It’s not about eliminating those moments altogether, but continuing to put one foot in front of the other when those moments happen and knowing that it is not humanly possible for them to scream forever…right?

The struggle: Stressful mealtimes and feeding issues

  • My advice as a therapist : It’s your job as the parent to decide when meal and snack times happen and what is on the menu; it is your child’s job to decide what to eat and how much of it. There are wonderful, evidence-based, and nonjudgemental resources in our community and online regarding lactation support, reflux, baby-led weaning, food allergies, and picky eating — among other feeding topics. It is developmentally typical for children to experience pickiness as they begin to differentiate themselves from others. 
  • My experience as a parent: Some of the best food advice I got was from my dad. He said, “Babies and dogs are similar in that they’ll eat when they’re hungry and they’ll poop when they’re full.” Except he didn’t say poop. The wisdom of our elders…

The struggle: Intimacy during postpartum

  • My advice as a therapist : Once the baby is born you are not going to have the time or energy to stay up late and hash out money, sex, and communication conflicts like you did pre-baby. So take the time before the baby comes to talk about how you talk about these things, that way, you have a common language to fall back on once you need to. Read Come As You Are together. Consider couples counseling, before or after the baby. Consider pelvic floor physical therapy and/or individual mental health support as you relearn what your body needs and is comfortable with postpartum. It is so important that your partner understands that comfort with intimacy postpartum is so much more than that six-week clearance from your provider.  
  • My experience as a parent: Everyone told me, “Oh your relationship will change so much after the baby.” And I thought, — Nope not us. We’re bffs forever no matter what. HA. I really feel like the adrenaline of childbirth didn’t wear off until like six months postpartum, so intimacy at first felt fun because I still felt just as close to my dood then as I did when I was pregnant…and then it felt like the bottom fell out and I was a stranger in my own body. Pelvic floor physical therapy was LIFE CHANGING for so many reasons; intimacy was just one thing on that list. It helped me find my way back to myself, which was something I was not prepared to need to do. And now every Beyonce and Dolly Parton lady ballad hits even harder than it did before.

The struggle: Going back to work

  • My advice as a therapist : Going back to work can trigger intense and confusing feelings, which are all normal. Explore with your employer what supports or accommodations might be available to you as you make this adjustment. For example, with regard to scheduling, chest feeding if that applies to you, or sick leave when needed. Talk with your partner or co-parenting caregivers about how the division of labor might change at home related to getting out the door in the morning and prepping for the next day in the evening. Seek mental health support to process how you’re feeling about going back. 
  • My experience as a parent: Death to the martyr mom narrative! Reject the narrative that you should feel guilt or, dare I say, that you should miss your babies 100 percent of the time when you’re not with them. NO. It’s healthy to separate yourself. It allows you to recharge yourself and be the kind of parent you know you want to be when you come back to them, and it widens the circle of people who love and care for them, which benefits you both. Trust your gut; when it’s time to fill your individual cup you will know, just like your parent gut tells you when it’s time to hug your babes close. 

ADVICE FROM ANDREA

Andrea Thompson, APRN, FNP-C, PMHNP-BC, Psychiatric Nurse Practitioner at Thrive

The struggle: Waking up throughout the night and the resulting sleep deprivation

  • My advice as a nurse : It is extremely important to discuss with your partner, support system and healthcare team how you can feasibly care for your baby and also get adequate rest. Inadequate sleep can be an exacerbating factor that may significantly influence your mental health which makes this topic even more important. Have these discussions prior to delivery, get a game plan, and then be flexible with your plan to ensure that you and your family can get much-needed rest. Some strategies may be to involve your partner in midnight feedings by getting you snacks/water, taking turns with feedings whenever possible, and being sure to discuss with your healthcare provider any barriers that may arise such as anxiety, infant feeding concerns, and safe sleeping practices with your infant. 
  • My experience as a parent: There may be times that you look across the room when you are up at 3 a.m. feeding your baby, stare at your partner and think, why do men even have nipples? Useless breasts! Some days you may not even know how you are functioning on such little sleep. (I have been through college several times and I can tell you that those ‘all nighters’ were nothing!) But with the right support, and the right mom friend to text at 3 a.m. who will allow you to laugh at the moments like when you realize you have forgotten to change your shirt for three days, you will get through this; it’s temporary. And that shirt is FASHION. 

The struggle: Baby and toddler meltdowns

  • My advice as a nurse : It is normal for babies and toddlers to respond in ways that can be difficult for their parents and caregivers to navigate. As their brain is developing rapidly and they are learning the world at a fast pace, the result can often be what we perceive as meltdowns as they learn to communicate how they feel. It is best to respond with patience and to validate their feelings. If you do have concerns regarding your children’s temperament or development, it is always a good idea to discuss with their pediatrician. They can also discuss safety precautions with you, especially when it comes to your infant/baby response. 
  • My experience as a parent: Oh for heaven’s sake, it’ll always happen in the middle of the park, in front of every other mom and it will most certainly be over the snacks you brought that were WRONG. Or if you are lucky, it will even include more than one of your children bickering with each other over the one and only stuffy we own, amiright ? Sometimes you just gotta ignore it, walk away and say out loud, whose kids are those!? If you vow to give the Hunger Games whistle and hand signal to any other mom going through the same thing, we all gonna be alright. 

The struggle: Always feeling needed by your child and never having any alone time

  • My advice as a nurse : It can be incredibly suffocating to always feel needed and/or ‘touched-out’ by our children and family. It can feel chaotic just to get through your daily routines and often moms feel as though they have little to no time for themselves. It’s important to prioritize time for yourself even if just for a short walk. It’s also important to be able to recognize if we need more assistance trying to process our feelings and emotions surrounding this topic. Tools for this could include attending a local moms’ group or perhaps considering individual or couples therapy to learn how to better communicate your needs. 
  • My experience as a parent: Ever hide in the bathroom? Does that count as meditation? 

The struggle: Intimacy during postpartum

  • My advice as a nurse : It can be intimidating to consider being intimate post-delivery, no matter who you deliver. It is also important to consider your future family planning and discuss with your care provider what your plans may be to prevent pregnancy if you so choose. It is not normal to feel pain while being intimate so be sure to discuss any concerns with your healthcare provider. 
  • My experience as a parent: That’s gonna be a no from me…

The struggle: Going back to work

  • My advice as a nurse : Some birthing people can feel anxious to return to work while others may feel guilty that they are eager to flee the nest. Whatever your feelings surrounding this may be, be sure to talk with your care provider about how they can help you with your mental health. It’s also important to plan ahead if you can talk with your employer about how they can make this transition more seamless and to your partner/support system on how they will be able to help as well.
  • My experience as a parent: I used to joke, when you get pregnant, you tell your partner, and then your child care provider. The list is LONG. I don’t like to think of the term balance there. It implies I am always trying not to fall. Each time I have returned to work postpartum, I have felt like I may fall on my face. I have cried in cars while I pumped and I have also gleefully dropped off my kiddo to head to work…what a roller coaster. I’ll save you a seat. 

About the Authors

AMANDA BOE — PMAD Program Clinical Lead and Therapist

Amanda Boe earned her master’s degree in counseling from the University of Nevada, Reno. She has over nine years of experience working with children, individuals and families who have experienced trauma. Her experience also includes working with clients who live with perinatal mood disorders, anxiety, and depression. Amanda is passionate about healing relationships among families and unresolved trauma using evidence-based practices. She is certified in Child Parent Psychotherapy. Amanda offers individual, couples, and family therapy.

ANN EDGINGTON, LCSW — Therapist

Ann Edgington, LCSW, is originally from Chicago, Illinois and received her master’s degree in social work from Loyola University Chicago. Ann has been working with children, families, and adults who have experienced trauma for eight years. She found her way to infant and early childhood mental health treatment through her previous experience as a health educator, child welfare case manager, and clinical social worker in middle and high schools. She is currently completing training to become certified in Child-Parent Psychotherapy (CPP) as well as a certification in perinatal mental health (PMH-C). Ann is passionate about working with adults and children to process life experiences, explore how trauma lives in the body, and heal relationships through attachment-focused and evidence-based practices. In her free time, Ann enjoys cooking, baking, and hiking.

ANDREA THOMPSON, APRN — Perinatal Mental Health Nurse Practitioner

Andrea Thompson, APRN is a Nurse Practitioner whose background has stemmed in primary care, primarily working with under-served and under-insured populations. In early 2019, she started a program the first of its kind in Northern Nevada to integrate mental health services into a women’s health/OBGYN practice where she had a focus on perinatal mood and anxiety disorder diagnosis and treatment. She has completed certificate training with Postpartum Support International and is near complete with her Postmasters Certification as a Psychiatric Mental Health Nurse Practitioner.  As a postpartum depression survivor herself, she has a passion for helping other women throughout their journey to mental wellness. She and her husband moved to the Reno area several years ago from Seattle, WA to settle into a place to raise their family; they have two young boys. Aside from spending time with her family outdoors, Andrea is also active in the efforts to improve the sexual health education offered to the youth in our community as well as advocating at the state level to support Nurse Practitioner autonomy and Maternal Mental Health. 

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By Brianna Villalpando, LMSW, LCSW March 19, 2025
Teen eating disorders are serious. As a parent or caregiver, one of the most difficult situations you can face is noticing that your teen may be struggling with a basic human need like eating. Adolescence is already a rough period for many teens filled with fluctuating emotions, changing bodies, and social pressures. However, sometimes coping with these challenges can manifest in unhealthy ways, like developing complicated relationships with food, body image, control, or exercise. Many teens face body image issues as their bodies mature, excessive pressure to meet unrealistic expectations fueled by social media and peers, and emotional instability and anxiety during their adolescent years, all of which can combine to create the perfect storm for an eating disorder. These challenges can often make your teen more vulnerable to unhealthy coping mechanisms , such as restricting food intake, excessive exercise, or engaging in disordered eating behaviors . If you’ve started noticing signs that something may not be right, it’s essential to take action to help your teen get the support they need. Recognizing the Signs of an Eating Disorder Eating disorders can vary in appearance, but there are some common signs and symptoms to watch for. If you notice any of the following behaviors or changes in your teen, it may indicate a problem that requires further attention: Preoccupation with body image : Teens with eating disorders often show increased focus on their weight or appearance, frequently expressing dissatisfaction with their body. Excessive discussions about dieting : If your teen frequently talks about dieting, food restriction, “getting skinny,” or often makes weight-related comments, this could be a red flag. Obsession with calorie counts : Teens who are obsessed with tracking every calorie, comparing the caloric content of foods, or controlling their calorie-intake may be struggling with an eating disorder. Skipping meals : Frequently skipping meals or not eating regularly is a common sign that something is wrong. Eating in isolation : Eating alone or avoiding family meals may signal discomfort with eating or shame around food. Excessive exercising : Over-exercising or using exercise as a way to purge calories can also point to an eating disorder. Spending long amounts of time in the bathroom : This could be a sign of emerging or purging behaviors, such as vomiting after meals. Hoarding foods : Hiding food or being secretive about eating may indicate issues with food control and secrecy around eating habits. Irregular periods or thinning hair : In females, a disruption in menstrual cycles or thinning hair can be physical signs of the effects of an eating disorder on the body. How Can I Talk to My Teen About Eating Disorders in a Supportive Way? Approaching a conversation about eating disorders with your child requires sensitivity and care. It's important to emphasize empathy and understanding, conveying that your primary concern is your teen's health and well-being. Initiating this conversation compassionately can create an environment of trust and openness to explore the problem. Selecting a calm, comfortable, and private setting is vital so your teen feels safe discussing a sensitive topic that may cause them to feel anxiety or shame. Effective communication hinges on using open-ended questions and active listening. Encourage your teen to share their thoughts and feelings without fear of judgment. By actively listening, you validate their experience, making them feel heard and understood. Before diving into the conversation, educating yourself about eating disorders can provide a solid foundation for discussing the issue knowledgeably. Some quick preparation with research allows you to dispel myths and provide accurate information when you talk to your teen. Why It's Crucial to Seek Medical Help When you notice warning signs, it’s important not to wait to get help. Eating disorders can be life-threatening, both physically and emotionally. They take a serious toll on a teen’s health, affecting their metabolism, hormonal function, and overall well-being. Beyond the physical impact, eating disorders can often involve deeply ingrained psychological and emotional challenges, such as low self-esteem, anxiety, depression, and trauma. After an initial conversation, the first step is to schedule an appointment with a medical provider. Your teen’s primary care doctor or a pediatrician can help evaluate their physical health and provide guidance for next steps. Be prepared to discuss the specific behaviors or signs you’ve observed, as this will help your provider better understand the situation. The doctor may conduct a physical examination, lab tests, and discuss your teen's emotional and psychological state. Building a Support Team Once you’ve taken the first step to ensure your teen’s immediate medical needs are addressed, it’s time to build a multidisciplinary treatment team . This may include: Therapists : A licensed, specially trained therapist who specializes in eating disorders or adolescent mental health can help your teen address the emotional and psychological root causes of their disorder. Medical doctors : Your teen’s doctor can monitor their physical health during the recovery process, ensuring they are safe while navigating the challenges of nourishing their body. Nutritionists or dietitians : A professional who specializes in eating disorders can create a nutrition plan tailored to your teen’s specific needs and help them rebuild a healthy relationship with food. Psychiatrists : In some cases, medication may be prescribed to address underlying mental health issues contributing to their behavior. Act Quickly and Seek Professional Guidance It’s crucial to act as soon as you recognize signs of an eating disorder in your teen. The longer eating disorders go untreated, the harder they can be to overcome. Recovery from an eating disorder is a complex journey, involving both physical and mental obstacles to tackle. It can be incredibly difficult for both the teen and the family to manage this process at home without professional support. A well coordinated team of medical providers, therapists, and eating disorder specialists is essential in guiding your teen through their recovery. This team can help monitor your teen’s progress, provide emotional support, and ensure that your teen is getting the care they need for both short and long-term recovery. Supporting Your Teen on Their Recovery Journey Eating disorders are serious, but with the right care and support, recovery is possible. If you suspect that your teen may have an eating disorder, don’t hesitate to reach out for help. Seek medical advice first, and build a support team of professionals who can work together to provide comprehensive care. Eating disorders are complex, and it’s not something you or your teen should have to face alone. Taking swift action and offering compassionate support will help your teen regain control of their health and their life so that they can thrive through their adolescence and beyond. At Thrive, we offer specialized treatment for anorexia, bulimia, binge-eating disorder, and avoidant/restrictive food intake disorder (ARFID). Our adolescent intensive outpatient and partial hospitalization programs have not only changed lives, but saved them. If you believe your teen is struggling, don't hesitate to reach out for help, we are ready to conduct a complimentary intake assessment today. To learn more about eating disorders, download our free guide "Recovery is Real" filled with practical insights and strategies to help a loved one navigate the journey toward recovery.
By Brianna Villalpando March 12, 2025
It can be difficult to know when it's time to reach out for help. We often try to manage stress, anxiety, sadness, or relationship issues on our own, thinking it’s just a phase or something we can work through to “get over.” But sometimes, these feelings or behaviors persist and can start affecting our overall mental and emotional well-being. The truth is, seeking therapy shouldn't be a last resort. Therapy is a valuable tool for anyone looking to better understand themselves, improve their emotional health, and work through life’s challenges. If you’ve been wondering whether it’s time to seek therapy, there are a few key factors to consider when performing a self-evaluation. Here are five signs that it might be time to reach out for additional support: 1. Is My Mood Affecting My Life or Relationships? One of the most telling signs that you may need support is noticing that your mood is negatively impacting your daily life or interpersonal relationships. Have you noticed an increase in conflict with friends, family, or colleagues? Are you feeling stuck in patterns of negativity that seem hard to shake? If your mood is affecting how you function at work, school, or in your personal life, it may be time to talk to a therapist. Pay attention to your behaviors; are you withdrawing from activities you usually enjoy? Are you reacting more intensely to situations than usual? If your emotional state is beginning to impact your relationships, interactions, or your ability to move through everyday life, a therapist can help you explore underlying causes and develop tools to improve your social wellness. 2. Am I Isolating Myself to Avoid Conflict? There’s a big difference between being introverted and isolating yourself as a way to avoid conflict. If you find yourself consistently pulling away from social situations, not because you need time to recharge, but because you’re avoiding uncomfortable conversations or emotional confrontations, this could be a sign of a deeper issue. It’s natural to want to avoid tension or discomfort, but consistent isolation can worsen feelings of loneliness and make it even harder to work through conflicts. Therapy can help you learn healthy coping mechanisms, problem-solving and communication skills, so you can feel more comfortable facing conflict in a productive way rather than shutting down or avoiding it at the cost of self-isolation. 3. Are My Emotions Out of Control? Do you ever feel like your emotions are so overwhelming that you can't regain control? If you're finding it difficult to calm yourself down, quiet your thoughts, or manage your feelings, this might be a sign that therapy could be helpful. Emotions like anger, disgust, fear, anxiety, or sadness are natural, but if they start taking over your thoughts and actions, it can be exhausting and difficult to complete daily tasks. A therapist can help you understand why your emotions are so intense and teach you strategies to regulate them and regain a sense of balance. 4. Have I Experienced Trauma That’s Affecting My Daily Life? Trauma comes in many forms, it could be from a single incident or from ongoing experiences that have affected your sense of safety, connection, or well-being. Sometimes, trauma is tied to experiences in childhood, but it can also be linked to recent events, like accidents, loss, or abuse. If you've experienced trauma and are struggling to perform basic daily tasks or meet your needs, therapy can be incredibly beneficial. Unresolved trauma can lead to feelings of anxiety, depression, or being stuck in past experiences. A trauma-informed therapist can help you process these experiences, understand their impact on your life, and work toward healing and recovery. 5. Am I Hurting Myself or Others? If your mood or behaviors are causing you to hurt yourself or others, it’s crucial to seek help immediately. Whether it’s through emotional or physical self-harm , or unintentionally inflicting harm on the people around you, this is a serious sign to find support from mental health professionals. A therapist can provide a safe, nonjudgmental space to talk about what you’re going through and help you work toward healthier ways of coping. If you’re in immediate danger or experiencing thoughts of self harm, it’s essential to reach out for help as soon as possible. There’s no shame in seeking support when you're struggling with harmful thoughts or actions. Why is Professional Mental Health Support Necessary? Although there may be barriers to seeking therapy, reaching out for professional mental health support is worth it to address the emotional and psychological issues that you shouldn’t have to deal with alone. Therapists have the knowledge and tools needed to guide you through your struggles, offering insights and solutions that aren’t available outside of the therapeutic setting. Their expertise promises not only a deeper understanding of your challenges, but the application of practical methods and skills to resolve them in your everyday life. Additionally, trained mental health professionals offer personalized strategies and coping mechanisms tailored to your unique situation and needs. These strategies are informed by evidence-based practices and a therapist’s experience working with and healing emotional and mental struggles. Personalized therapy helps clients receive the most relevant and effective guidance for their personal challenges. Embracing the Journey Toward Mental Wellness Recognizing that you might need support is the first step toward feeling better and getting the most out of life. Therapy isn’t just for when things are at their worst; it’s a proactive way to improve your emotional health, work through challenges, and build skills for resilience. If you relate to any of these situations, it might be time to reach out and explore therapy as an option. It’s okay to need help, and you don’t have to navigate this journey alone. If you’re unsure whether therapy is right for you, consider talking to a mental health professional to discuss your concerns and explore specialized support options available to you. You deserve to feel your best, and therapy can be a stepping stone to help you reach your goals. Are you in need of support? At Thrive Wellness, we offer personalized therapy and treatment to support you in whatever you're going through, don't be afraid to reach out for help . We also offer a FREE comprehensive guide to wellness in our “How to Thrive” guide . This guide offers practical, easy-to-follow habits that promote physical, mental, and emotional well-being. Start your journey towards a balanced and fulfilling life today with these simple yet transformative steps.
By Sage Tippie February 14, 2025
This Eating Disorders Awareness Month, we’re focusing on fighting the misinformation and stereotypes surrounding eating disorders that so often create barriers to diagnosis and treatment. Myths about eating disorders can perpetuate harmful stereotypes and keep people from receiving effective and timely treatment when they need it. It’s no secret that the field of eating disorders is riddled with misinformation, leading to confusion, stigma, and shame for those struggling. In this blog post, we'll explore the common myths about eating disorders and fight them with concrete facts in the hopes of building a more informed and educated community when it comes to these serious mental health conditions. Eating Disorder Myths Versus Facts Myth: Only those who are medically underweight have an eating disorder. Fact: Someone can have an eating disorder at any weight. In fact, less than 6% of those diagnosed with an eating disorder are medically underweight. There is even a specific diagnosis for those who are not underweight showing the symptoms of anorexia called atypical anorexia. People of all sizes are at risk for serious complications from an eating disorder, not just those that are underweight. Myth: Only women have eating disorders Fact: Although often associated with teen girls, eating disorders can affect those of any gender and age. While stereotypes and stigma surrounding eating disorders may tell us that men are not commonly affected by them, research has found that nearly 25% of those who present for eating disorder treatment are male. Keeping an open mind around who can be affected by eating disorders allows for more accurate and timely diagnosis and treatment for those who need it. Myth: Eating disorders are just about food. Facts: While eating disorders always involve an unhealthy relationship with food or body image, they also are rooted in biological, psychological and sociocultural aspects. Eating disorders cannot be treated just by changing eating behaviors, but by addressing the mental aspect of the illness as well. This is why integrated treatment involving a team of social workers, primary care specialists, therapists, and in some cases occupational therapists or psychiatrists is so crucial: a holistic approach is needed to treat all aspects of an eating disorder. Myth: Eating disorders aren’t that serious. Fact: Eating disorders are extremely serious and life-threatening mental disorders that require dedicated treatment. In fact, anorexia nervosa has the second highest mortality rate of any psychiatric disorder. By taking eating disorders and their diagnosis and treatment seriously, we can save lives. Myth: Eating disorders are a choice. Fact: Just like any other illness, eating disorders are not a choice or a phase, nor is recovery from an eating disorder just a simple decision to start eating more or less. Recovery is not dependent on willpower, but on ongoing professional treatment and long-term support. The recovery process can be lengthy and challenging, requiring patience and a supportive environment and team on your side. It is a gradual, step-by-step journey, rather than an instantaneous decision made on one person’s part. Myth: Eating disorders always involve negative body image. Fact: Avoidant/restrictive food intake disorder (ARFID) does not have to do with body image. Those with ARFID may avoid many foods because of texture, taste, color, or smell, or feared outcomes of eating like choking or vomiting. Like any other eating disorder, ARFID is serious and requires specialized treatment like exposure-response prevention therapy. Myth: Eating disorders only affect White people. Fact: Although Black, Latina/o/x/e, Indigenous/Native, and Asian people are historically underrepresented in studies of eating disorders, large-scale studies have found that rates of eating disorders are the same or higher in all racial and ethnic groups as compared to white individuals (NEDA). Removing racial stereotypes around eating disorders can help to remove barriers that BIPOC individuals commonly face when seeking treatment. Dispelling the Myths: A Path Towards Understanding By addressing and dispelling these myths, we can create a safe space that promotes understanding and empathy. Eating disorders are not choices or phases, but debilitating mental health issues that can affect anyone. Recognizing the seriousness of these disorders is so important in reducing stigma and ensuring that those who are struggling receive the care and support they require. This month and every month, we encourage you to fight misinformation and stick up for those experiencing eating disorders, because knowledge and education can be one of the greatest assets to recovery for those who need it. If you or someone you know is in need of eating disorder support, don’t be afraid to reach out , our team of healthcare professionals are here for you. To learn more about eating disorders and the journey to recovery, download our free eating disorders guide .
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